More Than a Feeling

When you're not feeling the very best or you're self-doubting or feeling insecure, affirmations really help. You know, just writing down "I'm having a great day!" or "I love myself!" over and over on a piece of paper is enough to swing your mood, change your mind, make you feel better. If you stand in front of a mirror and say it out loud, even better. It works! Try it.

So, it's the night before the full moon (thank the goddess it's almost over!) It's a Saturday night on the weekend of a full moon, the worse night to be out and about at a club. I know this from personal experience. It's been well documented. Yet, tonight the Mighty Crew is heading out for an excursion at a club. We're not staying late. Hopefully we'll be long gone before any craziness ensues. Well, craziness can ensue, might even be interesting, but just as long as none of the crew get sucked into said craziness. That would not be fabulous! And we're out for a fabulous time!

Mood: i'm having a great day! :-)
Drinking: . . . i'd rather not say . . .
Listening To: i'll be there for you, bon jovi
Hair: a whole lot blonder, tho nobody seems to notice

A Rush of Blood to the Head

Yesterday I went to Chatham for the regular BnM Production meeting. It was good. I daresay I have not seen hide nor hair of the mighty crew since last month's meeting. I am so lucky to work with really great people. Honestly, there's not a bad apple in the bunch. We laughed until we cried, threw beer over each other, shared food, argued a bit, and got a lot accomplished. It's like an injection of positive energy into my veins, spending time with them.

Went grocery shopping after and bought some lasagna fixings. I've never made one before. I'm not going the traditional route, doing something with spinach, ricotta, maybe some eggplant, and who knows what all will get tossed into the mix.

Then I came home and exercised while I watched my new Bon Jovi dvds. F-U-N! If I want to motivate myself, I should totally watch my Bon Jovi dvds all the freaking time. A little Jon Bon makes it all so much more exciting.

It is the last day, Day 7, of my one week wellness contract with my buddy. And I did it! I did everything! Well, you know, unless I totally screw it up today. Tomorrow I make a new deal, up the ante on a few things. I'll be taking my steps from 5000 to 7500 for one thing, which is not easy to get if you don't go out and try to get them, so I suspect I'll be taking to the streets with the mp3 player. Hopefully, the weather will cooperate.

Mood: good
Drinking: coffee
Listening To: carry on my wayward son, boston
Hair: longish

Out of Tune

Okay, I think I have a few minutes before I am whisked away to M5 (Mighty Miramichi Monday Morning Meeting for those not in the know). I am on Day 4 of a 7 day brown rice detox program. The first three days were frigging hell, let me tell you! I had a constant migraine and stomach cramps, leg pains, felt like I was freezing. And worst of all I was unable to medicate!! I've just been grinning and bearing it, or actually, going to bed and assuming the fetal. The headache I think I can blame on the lack of caffeine. Other ailments might have little to do with detox and could be related to my cycle (as could the headache partly), arthritis, flu, etc. Certainly my bowels are a tad upset by the sudden addition of all this fruit in my life. Now I get why my niece can't eat all the fruit she wants! But today so far I'm feeling not too shabby. There is a hint of a headache but it hasn't come to light yet. There is the hint of cramps but nothing concrete yet. I'm not feeling tired at all. I have energy. So things are looking up.

In other news, I haven't hit 10,000 steps in the past week but I am tracking the numbers. They're written right on my wall calendar in the office/living/dining room available at a glance for all the world to see. There is no doubt that I do make more of an effort to move when I'm wearing the pedometer than when I'm not. I think I'm averaging about 4500 steps a day this first week. But it's been a bitch of a week really, so I'm not at all discouraged. My high was 7140 on Saturday. Yesterday I dropped back a bit to 5703. Today could be tough as I'm going to the office. It's been difficult anyway because I've been chained to my PC trying to get back control of the situation since the crash.

The writing front suffers severely of course. Last week I only wrote creatively 2 days on Tuesday and Thursday, eeking out a meagre 236 words on a story from a prompt that is probably never going anywhere and about another 400 words on a kids story from prompts the kids gave me. Not too exciting there. No play work at all. So, I need to pay more attention to that part of my life and not let it fall through the cracks as it so often does.

And that's all for now. I need to get ready to leave.

Mood: okay
Drinking: vanilla rooibos herbal tea
Listening To: those strange sounds below
Hair: damp and air drying

As I Am

Yesterday afternoon we had a story session at O'Donaghue's. It was good, got some good ideas. Then we rushed back to the office to decorate the mighty van for the parade of lights. Stacy and I went in the parade on our own, everyone else went to a Christmas party at the Rodd. But that was okay. The parade was really quite lovely. Quite a few floats. Santa and the Missus were adorable in their horse drawn sleigh. I kept thinking the kids would love this, but it's kind of a crazy weekend for my kids. It was pretty chilly too, but there was a good crowd around.

After we traded vehicles in the Rodd parking lot and then went to Pizza Delight for supper. Garlic fingers, pizza, even cinnabons for dessert, couple of glasses of wine. Fabulous! But maybe it was too late for eating or maybe I was just feeling too mighty off the successful meeting and parade, but when I got home shortly after 10 I couldn't turn my brain off so I settled into the computer and worked on BnM until 2 in the morning. I had big plans for this morning, wanted to get up early and go to Zellers, buy a tree and all the trimmings, come home and put it all up. So at 2am I yawned once and said that's good, go to bed now. In bed I tossed and turned until 3:30 then I drifted off for exactly 20 minutes, just long enough to get into a nightmare, which I promptly shook off at 3:50. Wide awake until 4:40 and then I drifted again, right smack into another nightmare. Wide awake again at 5am, stayed that way until after 6, then drifted for another 20 minutes into another nightmare that had me wide awake until after 7:30. Sometime shortly before 8 I fell asleep for real, unsettling dreams but not scary enough to wake me up. Didn't kick until Sherry phoned going on noon. Morning plans ruined.

I'm a little stressed. I don't seem to have the Christmas stress going on, it's all work related, just having too much to do and not feeling a hundred per cent physically and mentally to be up to the challenge. No big deal really. I don't know if that was keeping me awake or if it was eating supper so late in the day or if maybe it was the fact I took sinus meds the night before and slept so soundly for 12 hours straight, no dreams, nothing. One super good night's rest equals another of crazy unrest. Perhaps. Whatever got into me, the day is not turning out like I had hoped so far. Think I'll shower and go downtown Newcastle this afternoon. Take care of some household errands. Then later this evening maybe if I pop down to Zellers it won't be a complete zoo. Maybe. I'm pursing my lips. Unconvinced. Nobody dislikes the mall during holiday shopping more than me :-(

Mood: a little unsettled, unwell, just un
Drinking: coffee
Listening To: an ode to no one, smashing pumpkins
Hair: sassy

Knowing Me, Knowing You

Went to dinner theatre at the Rodd last night for the Mighty Christmas party. Had a great time! It was frigging hilarious because we were front and centre so many at our table had interaction with the actors, who stay in character throughout the evening. One of the night's highlights happened when our fearless leader, Terry, took the microphone from the pregnant lady and ran around our table leading the mighty crew in a rousing rendition of Rudolph so we could get permission to go to the buffet table. The buffet, by the way, was really good. Rolls with butter, tossed salad, pasta salad, potato salad, coleslaw, whipped mashed potatoes, rice, whipped turnips/squash, roast beef, roast turkey, gravy, and a cranberry chutney or spicy sauce (really yummy!) Dessert was assorted cakes and coffee. The slab I had was marble with an amazing icing. I'm not usually big on the icing thing, but this was damn good! Throw in a couple glasses of wine and you have good times. I didn't want to go, too much work to do, not feeling it, but now I'm glad I went.

Mood: druggy
Drinking: coffee
Listening To: the more i see you, michael buble
Hair: all over the place in a playful bedhead look

The River is Wild

My mighty river is freezing in. Yesterday I thought I saw ice near the shore in Chatham Head, but I couldn't be certain. Today there is no doubt. Ice floes throughout. Have the ducks all gone where they're going yet? This week every morning there have been hundreds boogeying up past my place. But now there's ice. I wonder if I'll start seeing the eagles again soon. I haven't seen them since the ice went out. I've been thinking they'll come back when it returns.

Had bacon, eggs, toast and coffee for breakfast. Woke at 8:20 after only 3 hours sleep. Went to the bathroom but then went back to bed and slept til nearly 10. I needed it. I've been burning the candle at both ends all week. And today I only have 2 non-drowsy sinus caps to take, so I can't rely on drugs to push me through. Plus I'm going out this evening with the mighty crew, don't want to be dead knackered. So I woke up all stuffed up from lack of meds. I need to somehow make my way to Douglastown this week for a neti pot.

I need to rededicate myself to wellness. I need to do that asap! Because I've let it go by the wayside and I'm unwell.

Mood: rough around the edges
Drinking: coffee, italian roast, black
Listening To: fistful of throttle, nathan wiley
Hair: it's growing on me

Git 'er Done!

I stayed up pretty late last night, until about 3:30 or so. I took my last dose of sinus meds around 5:30 but still it didn't seem to help as far as sleepy went. I had lots of work to do anyway. I watched An Evening with Kevin Smith while I ate a frog and did some transcribing of stories that came in handwritten on looseleaf. Fabulous! Don't even ask me how I've come this far and not seen any of these films. There were quite a few stories I had already heard on Smodcast, which was a bit of a surprise, but lots of giggles regardless. I'm going to watch the newer one from last year sometime this weekend.

The Mighty crew is going to the Christmas Dinner Theatre at the Rodd on Sunday night. It's out annual staff Xmas gathering. It should be fun. I haven't been in a few years. The last time we went there was just me, Stacy and Terry. Times have changed! We'll fill a table now. I think me and Stacy are going to sneak our way into a Christmas party at the Tea House! LOL No seriously, we've been talking about it. The Tea House is all decked out and looking mighty cozy and Christmas-like, I can't think of a better place to get in the spirit. I'm kinda actually getting in the spirit on my own. The other night when me, Stace, and Les were shopping at Jean Coutu they were playing carols over the speakers. Whenever I'm in Jean Coutu I'm reminded of Sackville and I get a little nostalgic. I miss it a lot sometimes. The quaintness, the compactness. Miramichi is much bigger. I need to go downtown and shop around the square, see if I can find some quaintness there. Decorations in the park and such must come soon. Santa Claus parades must happen soonish.

Oh well, enough rambling about stuff. The meds seem to have kicked in so I'm off for another productive day.

Mood: chipper
Drinking: coffee, water
Listening To: 1973, james blunt
Hair: sliced and diced. literally. i totally chopped off my ponytail and then took the razor to my head. seriously. i went from three inches below my shoulders to just below my ears. all by myself!! it's the drugs man, it's gotta be the drugs