For a little over a month I've been drifting. First let me backtrack, I started this year with an astonishing amount of zest and purpose. I was determined to work smarter, less. And until last month I was doing really well, on top of things more or less, working smarter, not harder.
Then I went to the Writers' Federation Annual General Meeting one weekend and the next weekend I went to Moncton to interview an author. The effect has been devastating. I've drifted back into my old habits -- working day and night, unfocused, without vision and drive. And the result is STRESS! I'm stressed because I feel so out of control. And when I'm stressed, my fuse gets really short and I start going off for no reason.
In the course of one month I've gone from a peaceful in control almost zen-like demeanor to a completely out of control homicidal maniac -- it ain't pretty, but I'm not lying.
So, my goal for this day is to reach out and grab those oars floating around me and begin to steer the boat again. Today, I will accomplish something, I will finish at least one task. I will take some time for me to exercise. I will cook. I will work no more than 8 hours at my job. I will, I will, I will.
I've already begun :-)
Mood: Hopeful
Listening to: Saulisbury Hill, Peter Gabriel
Drinking: tea with 2%
Hair: light brown
Monday, May 31, 2004
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