Tuesday, June 01, 2004

The Dating Dilemma . . . Again!

I've been reading a lot of blogs by singles who say dating is tough.

One woman says it's tough because young guys usually want kids of their own (and she is done in that department) while older guys usually have older children and don't want to have anything to do with younger ones anymore (hers are toddlers.)

Then there's a single father who has pretty much given up on the dating scene because he says most women either don't want anything to do with him because he has custody of his kids or else they become jealous of his kids and the relationship ends badly. His kids are top priority.

Okay. Then there's me. I don't have kids. I'm pretty sure I don't want kids, but I wouldn't rule them out completely with the right young guy, (although time is growing short). In a perfect world, I'd like to date someone who doesn't have them and doesn't want them. . . which is almost impossible. So, as strange as it may sound, ideally I'm looking for that young single dad who already has kids and doesn't want anymore.

You see, I actually like kids. But I don't want to be a mother. So, with a single dad I get to enjoy the kids, love the kids, co-parent the kids to a certain extent, but I don't have to take on the complete motherhood package. That suits me fine.

I've been in a couple of relationships with guys who had kids, who either had or shared custody so the kids were around a lot. One family was boys, the other girls, both teenaged. Both were too soon after the marriage break up, but hindsight is always 20/20, right? I got along well with the boys, but the girls didn't like me (they didn't like any woman their dad had brought home). In still another relationship, the child was a toddler, a little girl. This was easier, toddlers are cool.

But, in my somewhat limited experience, it's not the kids keeping these guys from great relationships, it's the relationship with their exes. In all these cases, the relationship with the ex was rocky at best, and downright homicidal maniac at worst.

But maybe I don't represent the norm. . . that's always a possibility ;-)

Mood: Ponderous
Listening to: Eyes of a Stranger, The Payolas
Drinking: Boiled tea (it'll drive you crazy)
Hair: Getting way out of hand!

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