Fuzzy Dreams of Three

I dreamed it was Christmas dinner at the school. Except it wasn't for the kids, it was an evening event for adults, to be followed by drinking and dancing. Yes, it was at the cafeteria in the school. Yes, we had to line up forever in order to be served plates that we carried on trays to rows of long tables. A bit bizarre, I know, but in the dream this Christmas dinner/drinks and dancing was the highlight of the season, the biggest social event of the year. I'm talking men in ties and lots of slinky black dresses.

As odd as this part of the dream was, it didn't end there because in the dream I had three boyfriends. This in itself really isn't that odd, my early 20's were all about juggling, but never with all parties full knowledge and consent. In the dream I lived with an older man, in his sixties. We may even have been married. This man was very successful, well-respected, powerful. Our house was more like a mansion. I had anything I could have ever asked for and only the best. The wine cellar was amazing in itself. I loved this man. He was intelligent and witty and so very sweet and he spoiled me to death. But I had my bedroom and he had his and our relationship wasn't sexual at all. We had martinis by the fireplace before he kissed my forehead, said he'd see me in the morning and sent me off to the Christmas dinner with another man who had come to pick me up. The other man was waiting in the foyer. They shook hands. No sneaking around in this dream.

The second man was young (well my age) and exciting and a lot of fun . . . and gorgeous! We met up with a bunch of friends and went to the Christmas dinner, laughing and having the best time. He was a great dancer and very sweet. We got a little drunk, my face hurt from smiling so much. After a few hours at the dinner, we changed and went snowmobiling. Racing through the woods in the moonlight, holding on as tight as I could, I totally loved him too. We ended up at a lodge where there was a sliding party going on with our friends. It was an evening of play in the snow, with lots of cuddling around the bonfire, cold lips warming with kisses. Around 11 we got into a truck and with me sitting in the middle beside him with my head resting on his shoulder and holding his hand, he drove me to my next and final destination of the night.

It was a log house overlooking a river, with a huge wrap-around porch where a third man leaned against the railing, smoking. It was a lot like the house I'd build if ever I was to build a house. He turned and waved when we pulled in. I kissed the second guy goodnight and bounded out of the truck and onto the porch leaping into this guy's arms, so happy to see him. We went inside, I changed into pyjamas and we drank brandied hot chocolate and ate cherries in front of the fire while I told him all about my day and the dinner and the winter party at the lodge. We talked for hours and then we kissed and made love and he carried me to the loft and we did it all over again in our bedroom. And I loved this guy too, but no more or no less than the other two, just differently. We got up early and cooked breakfast together and shortly before noon the first man arrived in a stretch limo to pick me up. He had a surprise for me, a trip to New York for a movie premiere. He'd packed my bag and we were heading straight to the airport . . .

I woke up then. An odd dream. What does it mean? That one man will never be enough for me? That I want too much, no single person could ever deliver? That I want everyone I see? That I fall in love too easily? That I should've appreciated Christmas dinner at the school more? That I need to do more winter activities like snowmobiling and sliding? That I should get a house of my own? That I need to take a trip? That I'm nuts?

Mood: foggy
Drinking: coffee
Listening To: the dryer tumble
Hair: growing more every day