Seat Next to You

You need to download the latest Smodcast with Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier! You must! Really! Go there now! It's the shits! I'm not even kidding.

*****

I should not have a glass of wine and watch the Street. Especially white, no matter how humid it is. Tsk. Tsk.

Audrey told Fred that if he had asked again she would've said yes. SHE WOULD HAVE SAID YES! And of course, he wants to know, why now? Why now of all times, when he is to be off with another within the week? Why not before? And she told him the truth. She thought somebody better would come along. But they didn't. And now she's a foolish old woman watching her last chance for happiness marry somebody else.

Oh, boy!

I admire her honesty. I relate to her folly. I mean, one does get lonely, doesn't one? And then you have to wonder, should I have said something? Should I have tried harder? Could I have been happy? I mean I AM happy. But could I also have been happy in another universe, orbiting with another? And I'm not talking about the psychos . . . yes, there were definitely psychos. But there were others. You know the comfortable ones, the mediocre ones, the ones that weren't volatile but just average. Were those the ones I should have fought for? Were those the ones that could have bloomed into something real and lasting? It's something to think about.

Or not.

It is entirely probable that I am just bored. The last time I was bored, it was not good. I should take up a new hobbie or write a book or something. Idle hands . . .

*****

The country jon bon cd has grown on me. I officially like it. Six times was the charm.

*****

I’ve seen my heart of darkness
Let’s just say I crossed over that line
Held hands with the hopeless
In too deep on that ride went around one more time

When you’re standing on the edge you don’t look down
Til you’re ready and willing to fly

Now I’m one step closer
With my arms open wide here
I’m one step closer
And I’m willing to try this time

I hitched a ride with forgiveness
In that river of emotion I went down a third time
I spent the night with the living
Took a chance looked inside didn’t know who I’d find

Standing on the corner of that lone goodbye
All alone, it’s there I made up my mind

Yeah I’m one step closer
With my arms open wide here
I’m one step closer
And I’m willing to try

I’m sick of giving up
Ooh, with a little luck
I’m gonna get out of here

When you’re standing on the edge don’t look down
Til you’re ready and willing to fly

I’m one step closer
With my arms open wide here
I’m one step closer
And I’m willing to try this time

One Step Closer, written by jon bon jovi, richie sambora and john shanks from the album Lost Highway

Mood: nostalgic
Drinking: water (but contemplating a second glass of wine, an after dinner refreshment)
Listening To: you want to make a memory, bon jovi
Hair: pinned back in barrettes