If I thought the remaining kid next door had anything to smoke other than hallucinogenic substances I'd be over there begging him for a smoke. I'm so not kidding. What a night! What a stupid crazy nuts night! Thank goodness I decided to pick up a half dozen sweets at the store today. I NEVER do that! My subconscious psychic abilities must've been working overtime. But now they come in handy for comfort.
My mother would be very upset if she thought I aired the family laundry in public . . . Oy! So, out of respect to my mother, I won't. I thought when I moved out that I would gain the peace of mind of not knowing that my sisters have. That I could stop worrying about my family making the RCMP headlines for heinous crimes. NOT that there wouldn't be a need to worry mind you, but just that I'd be out of the loop on a situation I can't control anyway . . . no such luck, babe! How many times can I say OY! in the same fucking paragraph? Oy!
And somehow this is worse, this worrying from a distance, being half in and half out of the loop. God dammit! If I didn't have to be in Fredericton this weekend, I'd be enroute to Miramichi. I may have to go next week anyway, find the cash up my ass somewhere. We'll see what becomes of the weekend.
And for now, I drink and I think and I crave cigarettes and I pray nothing really bad happens.
Mood: angry, upset, worried
Drinking: jack and coke
Listening To: Godiva's on tv
Hair: loosely pulled back
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