Saturday, March 22, 2008

Original Sin

Crazy weather the past couple of days, tons of snow, freezing rain, and so on, non-stop for days on end. With April I am ready for seasons to change. I miss being able to walk at French Fort Cove, being able to walk at all really. The sidewalk situation has been not good here all winter. Apparently there is very little snow on the ground down Amherst/Sackville way. Wow! Such a huge difference from here to there. Today is cloudy, some wind, but not much else going on.

Even though I couldn't see Chatham Head from my windows all night last night, let alone the full moon, my body knew it was there. The dreams were much.

I dreamed that I was invited to dinner at my cousin's house. There were three couples. It was an odd mismatch of past versus present partners. The strangeness wasn't that I was there with Kevin, I expect he'll show up more and more in dreams in these months leading up to my Toronto trip. And Stacy was there with Alan, which was perfectly normal and logical. The oddness was that the hostess was one of Stacy's sisters and her partner was Stacy's ex, Ed. Yeah. That was very strange. Even in the dream I was sitting there being served a lovely roast beef dinner thinking to myself, "How on earth did this ever happen?! This can't be right." And Ed wasn't quite himself, but a version of himself. He looked the same as I remember but he'd gone a little redneck, slurping beer and slapping people on the ass, laughing a lot and making rude comments. It was like he'd turned into a giant version of Tom Arnold. It was all very uncomfortable and strange.

In another dream there was an older grey-haired man, definitely in his mid to late 50s or even early 60s, who had fallen in love with me. I met him through work somehow or a conference or something. Anyway, the guy was super rich, like private jet kinda rich, and lived in Vancouver. He would fly down, bringing me gifts, anything I could imagine, if I even thought I wanted something he'd show up with it. I would tell him I couldn't accept his gifts, that I had no feelings for him other than friendship, that there would be nothing between us ever . . . but he'd just keep coming back with something new or sending me things. It was an unrelenting pursuit of my affection.

I think I probably dreamed this one because yesterday I was doing some thinking about that sort of thing for some writing I'm doing. Plus the other night I watched planes flying low over Chatham. All these things in my subconscious surface in the full moon.

It was a night of nothing but dreams, leaving me to wake more unrested than when I went to bed.

Mood: a little foggy
Drinking: nothing
Listening To: speed of sound, coldplay
Hair: growing

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