Contact!

So I found a sister and my brother called me, I'm good to go! My brother and I are going to go downtown to the parade this afternoon and then to Ritchie Wharf for awhile. His girlfriend has to work until 4pm, so he's kinda on his own today too. It'll be nice to get out for a bit and take in some of the festivities. Last year I went to Blackville and didn't get to do anything around here, so this is a first.

I have to say I'm feeling really good today. Really, really, really good! Yesterday I had my third training session, upper body for the second time plus cardio. Today I'm not even really sore, which is fabulous. I walked to the session and home again, did 25 minutes on the treadmill. Stacy phoned and she was coming into town to return a movie and wanted to make the most of the trip so we went for a walk at the cove and then grocery shopping at Sobey's in Douglastown. I finished the day with 10,623 steps. I was physically tired when I dropped into bed last night. That always feels good.

I bought some good groceries, all healthy stuff. My one indulgence was hot chocolate (which totally satisfies any urge I have for something sweet) and even then I did not buy the super duper gourmet kind but rather the Compliments blue brand with 40% less calories. Spent a whopping amount of money on food though and didn't seem to come home with much. That would be the cost of buying meat. I got some t-bones, Maple Leaf prime boneless skinless chicken, and boneless skinless turkey breast. I also got some meatless burgers, just because I do love them and they can fill a protein gap at lunchtime pretty darn quick.

And now I'm off to ready for an excursion! Happy Canada Day, folks!

Mood: chipper
Drinking: coffee, black, and water
Listening To: buddy wandering around upstairs
Hair: still headbanded

Marching Onward and Upward

Yesterday was a really good day for me. I know Sunday generally is a good day, that's why I love them, but yesterday was particularly good. I accomplished everything I wanted-- got over 10,000 steps and nearly 1500 words and ate right and exercised and all that kind of good stuff.

This morning I weighed in again to see that I've dropped 4 pounds since last time, which is encouraging. I only have 2 more to go to be back to where I was last spring/summer when I was doing the SparkPeople thing. I suspect another 10-15 after that will put me back to where I was at in Sackville, though I've no records to know for sure, the clothes will tell that tale. Then the journey begins for real to drop another size and keep it off. Time is running out if I want to be gorgeous again by the time I turn 40. It's doable though. I just need to stay focused and do the work. I know I can keep the weight off once I get where I want to be, but it's the getting there that requires my patience and commitment.

Today I am roasting a turkey breast, so I'll have turkey for stir-frys and wraps and all that good stuff. I tried these whole grain rye Triscuit crackers last night that I've had in my cupboard for eons. I got them for some sort of gathering or party and then either forgot to put them out or cancelled or something. Last night I was hungry. That hollow stomach growling kind of hungry.

I was about 50 calories short of the 1200 that a person needs in order to keep their body from going into starvation mode and clutching on to all your fat for dear life, so I figured even though it was pretty late I should eat something. I was also a few grams short on my protein. After much searching I opted for four Triscuit crackers and a half cup of salsa.

I warmed the crackers in the oven and then ate them like nacho chips with the salsa. Yummy! Of course I had more salsa than crackers, which meant I ended up eating salsa with a spoon, but that was fine by me. The snack did the trick and I didn't go to bed hungry, I got my calories and my protein count into more acceptable levels, and I now have a new favourite treat! Hopefully, I won't become obsessed with it, like I did with the lasagna. Too much of anything is not a good thing.

I had more crazy dreams last night. A whole series of them. I wouldn't even know where to begin to describe any of them. And anything that I am capable of describing in great detail, trust me, you DO NOT want to know!

Mood: excited about life
Drinking: king cole tea
Listening To: just me, typing
Hair: interesting

Walk Well

Well I'm back from a weekend in Moncton with the family to participate in the Walk for the Cure for Juvenile Diabetes. Despite leaving somewhat later than anticipated on Saturday morning, our room was not ready when we arrived. A bit of mis-information in thinking check-in could occur at 11am without an early check-in special request. So we had lunch in the other room (at least one of us could check in) and then went shopping. I bought two water bottles and a set of measuring cups and got a little cranky from the clausterphobic crush of Saturday shoppers. Really, for me, nothing says terrible time more than shops filled with people. I know it's bad for the retail business but I much prefer entering stores where I'm one of a few rather than one of the multitude. And of course having five kids to watch in the throng, didn't help. The last store we went in was okay though, not nearly as crowded as the others. A person could breathe at least and they had some good deals. Of course, I had no shopping money, but still it pretty much redeemed the whole experience. After shopping our room was finally ready. It stank to the high heavens of stale cigarette smoke. Blech! I had to sit by the open window with the air conditioning running full blast in order to stand it. Disgusting. I would rather spring for my own room someplace else rather than stay there again. The nicotine poisoned air actually gave me leg cramps in the night. I'm not even kidding. The other room downstairs seemed slightly better. Thankfully we had dinner all together down there to celebrate my niece's birthday. I resisted take-out Wendy's and DQ Ice Cream cake, opting for the rice and roast beef I packed instead. Cuz that's what a healthy lifestyle involves. Being conscious of the crap and making better choices. I went a little overboard later though and drank a whole bottle of wine. At least it helped me sleep on the fold out couch in the main room. Sunday morning I got to watch most episodes of Coronation Street before heading to the coffee shop for breakfast. Eating out is hard! It's hard to make good choices when you don't know how. Like not thinking to order the toast unbuttered for instance. So it comes dripping greasy and you know it's hundred of ugly fat calories right there, in a single meal. Blows your day. Sunday was a terrible day foodwise. Maybe I need to eat out more, to get used to how to order stuff, to get more practice. Like when I had to eat at McDonald's for supper. I didn't have a clue what to get. I was absolutely starving. Like passing out in the line-up starving. And I just couldn't stomach an old iceberg lettuce salad. I had no idea what to order. So I ordered the grilled chicken sandwich, no fries or pop or anything, but again, I forgot to order it plain, so it came drenched in sauce and mayo. And there we go, a second meal in the same day that used all my fats and all my calories. The road to hell is truly paved with good intentions. I had researched nutrition facts for Wendy's and Dairy Queen, so I was prepared if we went there. I was not prepared for McDonald's :-( Oh well, it's a learning experience.

The walk itself was fabulous! Great band, extremely emotional moments, nice walk, good times! I imagine J will blog the details. I'm outta time. Overall, had a really nice weekend. Already talking about what we'll do to raise money for next year. I was exhausted when I got home. Just checked email and went to bed. Didn't get up with the alarm this morning. Made an executive decision to give myself more rest and recuperation. So I slept in until quarter after 7. I want to start a 5am routine this week. We'll see how that goes. Anyway, gotta run, much to do today.

Mood: sleepy
Drinking: king cole tea, black
Listening To: apartment building silence . . . which truly isn't silence at all
Hair: tied up

Back Again

I've returned from spending time with family this weekend. Got to see my dog, my kids, my parents, sisters and brothers-in-law. It was good, despite me being sick. I got a wok and a new pair of exercise/walking pants at the Yard Sale. J&J raised a whopping $1,000 for the JDRF walk on June 3rd!! Which is fabulous! Still time to sponsor me, if you haven't already (thanks, by the way!), here's the link again, click here. My new personal goal is $200. Maybe this is doable.

In other news, I weighed myself this morning (I'm weighing in once a week, not that the numbers really mean shit to me, but it's less time consuming than measuring [yes, i know i should do both] and apparently getting real is the way to go) and I lost another five pounds. This means I've officially lost the 10 pounds I gained when I moved home. I'm back to normal again. This is good. I feel much better, much more like myself, finally it feels like my life is back. Thank the goddess!

This despite being really sick still. I crawled into bed last night around 7 after tossing back a couple of Dristan intending to watch Strange Brew followed by Bob and Doug's 2-4 Special, but was snoozing before 7:30 and never kicked until 9 this morning. Yeah, I slept 14 hours!! That is sickness, my friend. I have a lingering headache and coma brain today.

For dinner tonight I'm roasting a turkey breast, baking a potato and having some peas and carrots plus I'm thinking some spinach, because I'm low on fiber and iron today. I think spinach has iron. I'll check. Find some veggie with iron and consume. Turkey is really high in sodium! Who knew?! I'm learning so much about nutrition.

Mood: somewhat steely like the lingering grey fog
Drinking: water
Listening To: how do i get it right, sass jordan
Hair: beyond greasy

Snuffleupagus

The tightness in my sinuses disappeared and I awoke to a runny nose and much sneezing. Still some pain around my eyes, but mostly just over my right eye, so I think it's more migraine than sinus related. The dam has broken! Let the drainage begin!

So last night I made my salsa (tomatoes, jalapenos, onion, garlic, lime juice, cayenne) and enjoyed about two and a half cups of the zesty wonder with some baked Tostitos tortilla scoops with a smidgen of low-fat mozza melted over them in the microwave accompanied of course by a glass of red wine and then another glass. Then I had some dark chocolate, dates and almonds. I gorged myself! And it was wonderful. All those sinful feelings when you eat a good cheesecake with none of the empty calories. When I make my own salsa I don't put anything sweet in it, no sugar, I like it spicier and tangier, just the fruit & veggies. So a whopping big bowl full is only 115 calories, no fat, lots of vitamins!

Those baked Tostitos are quite the find too. I had a full plate and then another half plate and it was only 314 calories, 8 grams of fat. When you take into account that I ate this meal as supper and snack all in one and I planned for it earlier in the day making good low-cal choices for breakfast (a bowl of cereal) and lunch (turkey sandwich). I finished the day off at only 1,245 calories total. If you consume less than 1,200 calories per day your body goes into starvation mode (where I've been most of my life) and stores every bit of fat it gets. At 1,245 my body feels relaxed and unworried about starvation, so it burns calories and fat rather than storing. If I eat between 1,200 and 1,550 calories per day I will gradually lose weight because I'm consistently consuming less than what I'm burning. And if I choose veggies, whole grains, lean meats, etc. these all have less calories, which means I can eat tonnes and feel fabulous and my body will just naturally return to its best weight.

And what do all these figures mean besides a stunning display of my ability to embrace numbers? I can totally pig out and satisfy those pesky periodical cravings and still be healthy and wise! (Not wealthy so much, because well, you know, some of the healthy things like the fat-free tasty turkey luncheon meat I love cost more than the what's-in-this-anyway regular variety.)

So there you have it! We now return you to your regular broadcast. Snuffy out!

Mood: optimistic
Drinking: water, cold coffee
Listening To: my refrigerator humming quite loudly, perhaps it's the death rattle
Hair: greasy

Cookies

I bought a box of girl guide cookies to support my niece in Brownies. The original kind, not the mint ones. I always liked the original ones best, especially the vanilla flavour, but alas like everything else in the world, Girl Guide cookies have changed :-( They're not what I remember. Still, I'm eating them.

Last night I went to a special event at O'Donaghue's Pub in Chatham. It was the first time I'd been there when there were a lot of other people, but it won't be the last. I may not have been able to find decent housing on that side of the river, but I can certainly find my way over there to have fun. A group of international journalists on a fishing trip had been invited to enjoy an evening of Miramichi hospitality and have an audience with the Premier. Lovely fellows. I had the opportunity to chat with a few of them and get some advice for BnM. One of the men seemed particularly enthusiastic about it, and I came away with his contact information for follow-up. I met the Premier and he told me he loves what we're doing and to keep up the great work. I was a bit surprised he had seen it, but I know we had distributed copies to the delegation, so perhaps it's not such a long shot.

Connie & Paul, Owen Murdoch and the legendary Matilda Murdoch were on hand for an old fashioned Miramichi Kitchen Party that had Premier Graham rolling up his sleeves and playing the spoons right along with them. Raw footage from a documentary film being made for a German audience was shown. Some following a truck driver I know in Blackville, but more from down the Bay with generations of fishermen ice fishing smelts. Afterward the eldest man from the film stood and spoke about their way of life and how it has changed since he first started and also about the Escuminac Disaster. The foreign press asked questions and then Connie & Paul sang the saddest song about the women who must wait for their men at sea.

All in all, not a bad way to spend an evening.

Mood: headachy
Drinking: coffee
Listening To: muted sounds of other people's lives around me
Hair: thick, straight, and stubborn

The First Supper

I moved exactly 2 months and 1 week ago today. And yesterday I had my first supper in my new apartment. Yes, there have been meals here. I even had my brother and his girlfriend over for a birthday supper celebration. But even that wasn't a "real" supper (a Maple Leaf fully cooked microwaveable roast). I haven't been cooking. I've been eating crazy stuff like french fries and Kraft Dinner and cans of spaghetti. Beggars truly cannot be choosers. But after 2 months and a lovely gift certificate from the WFNB things are turning around on the food front.

Yesterday, I went grocery shopping! With a cart and everything! I couldn't get much meat, unfortunately there didn't seem to be many good deals and I'm only willing to splurge on certain items. But I did get yogurt, pomegranate/cranberry juice, rooibos tea, Viennese coffee beans, oatmeal, chick peas, olive oil, albacore tuna, Frank's Red Hot sauce, jerk sauce, bottled water, whole wheat kaiser rolls, broccoli, snow peas, garlic, mushrooms, almonds, green peppers, red peppers, grape tomatoes, bananas, green onions, hummus, grated Parmesan cheese, Ryvta Crispbread, whole wheat pitas, a loaf of dark rye bread, eggs, a big container of the President's Choice field greens salad that I love, chicken wings, a roast beef, kidney beans, a whole bunch of cleaning supplies, and even more. Nearly $200 worth and finally I am in heaven! Or at least a place where I feel that I can begin to eat regular healthy meals again and start taking my vitamins and drinking water and get physically back on track.

Last night I dined on chicken wings smothered in Frank's (too spicy for the average bird, a little dab will do ya, but I love it!), a side salad in raspberry vinegarette, slices of dark rye to keep the spicy in check, and a glass of French red wine (also courtesy the WFNB, thank you!) It was like I was finally home. Not that I've felt dislocated or not at home, but the lack of fresh greens in my lifestyle has been kinda devastating.

This morning I started my day with a banana, rye toast with peanut butter, and a cup of Viennese coffee (freshly ground), followed by a slew of vitamins and supplements and a big glass of water. I'm gonna have lunch! And supper! And maybe a snack or two throughout the day. Now, it's like, "Ok, I can start walking again, I can start exercising. I can get back on track."

Mood: pdh (pretty damn happy)
Drinking: coffee & water
Listening To: the train whistle (perhaps late from Monteal)
Hair: in a headband

Panic Attacks

If you're having a good day . . . do not read on as I'll suck you into my negative force field. If you're having a bad day . . . definitely do not read on as you'll never find your way back to the light if you let me suck you down into my pool of negative ranting. And there's hope for you. You can turn it all around yet. Me . . . I'm not sure.

You have been warned. Stop reading now.

Panic attacks. Used to be only a night thing. Sunday Night Anxiety, that sometimes transgressed into the week. Weren't those the good ole days? Who knew? I don't know how I'm supposed to go to Fredericton this weekend AND go to Sackville in two weeks time AND go to Moncton in a month. I'm sickened by this whole spring deal. Maybe something good will happen. Maybe there's no need to panic. (Feeble attempt at optimism.)

I dreamed of Grandad and cousins and . . . Regis Philbin? Donald Trump? Chickens pecking on my head. I'm not sure about all that. A cousin was in trouble. I wonder if he is really. Sometimes I suspect he might be. I woke with a powerful urge to reach out and see. But then thought better of it. Dreams are never about the other person, always a reflection of self. I'm the one in trouble. Helping someone else might take my mind off it for a bit. Alleviate the panic attack. But that is all. I need to do something drastic like fall in love or go out west or . . . I don't know, something to knock this funk away.

Yesterday, I felt a little better. I looked forward to a supper of salad with pumpernickle bread and butter. I haven't been able to afford to buy food. That's the bottom line. Last week's junk food binge aside. I couldn't afford it either, but in the throes of PMS these bad choices happen. Bygones. It sounds like a simple thing, salad and pumpernickle. But it's not, Mom sent me the fixings or I'd be without. And I looked forward to it all day, even though I had no chicken wings or any meat at all to go with it. Then I went to get it ready and I noticed the salad was not the kind I normally buy. I like the field greens, this was romaine and cabbage and carrots . . . it was the carrots thing that ruined the whole experience. Carrots and my favourite raspberry dressing, do not mesh. Oh well, I soldiered on, beggars can't be choosers and all that. And then I went to slice the bread and found that it wasn't soft and light and fresh, but it was Best Before Sunday, expired, stale, on the way out.

And I sat at my table eating my salad and bread supper and just cried. I cried because I should be grateful I have anything on my table to eat at all, and I hate myself that I can't just be grateful and stop wanting more. I cried because I was disappointed. I cried because I just want to be able to buy food and cook meals again and get healthy and just be normal. I'm gaining weight from this no breakfast, no water, one-meal-a-day, non-veggy, non-protein, all starchy carbs way of eating that I feel like I'm being forced to adopt. I just want my life back. And I hate myself for wanting anything. Here I am in this wonderful big apartment, with more space than ever, a gorgeous view, eagles flying by daily, sunrises happening right in front of me, with a cozy bedroom AND a spare bedroom, walking distance to everything I might want and need, surrounded by friends and family who actually come visit and spend time with me, with a bathtub for christsake . . . and I'm frigging miserable. It's crazy for me to be like this. I am crazy. And they say money can't buy happiness . . . well, the lack of it, sure seems like it can take happiness away.

And I know this isn't permanent, I just need to recoup from the move. The move happened early and threw a huge wrench into my life. It was supposed to happen after all this April stuff, I was supposed to be poor in May and June and maybe July . . . but it would be sunny and hot and . . . I dunno, perhaps easier then. Perhaps not. But all this travel would've not been an issue had the move occurred when it was supposed to. Because I could've just hitched a ride to board meetings with others going, I would've been in town for AGM, and again I could've hitched rides with others going to Frye. Hardly any expense. Very little. But the move happened early. I had to finance it on my credit card. I had to pay rent on two apartments for one month. My minimum credit card payments are now very unreasonable. It's taking every cent I have just to keep the current apartment. Just to pay the minimums. There's nothing left over and not even really enough to do what I need to do to live.

So here I am, all moved into a place that I truly love, where all I do is cry and worry and suffer panic attacks and store fat. This is irony.

So ends today's rant. And that's all I'm going to say about that. Period. Next post will be brighter and more optimistic . . . even if I'm secretly planning to slit my wrists.

Mood: wrecked
Drinking: russian tea
Listening To: buddy above wandering the floor (does he work?)
Hair: i give up

Borne

Slept on the futon last night. Wanted to watch a movie, wanted to be able to drift off during movie. It's cold in my place. Colder than I'm used to. The sun warms it up a lot during the day, but on days when the sun is hidden and at night . . . ugh! It's cold! I'm sleeping in layers. Last night two pairs of socks, two pairs of sleep pants, a tank top, t-shirt, two cardigans. I put a throw on the futon mattress, fuzzy New Brunswick Health sheet next to my body, thin camp blanket, heavier fuzzy blanket, and topped it off with the comforter. I wasn't cold. I wasn't sweating either. I was mostly comfortable. Yes, I have control of the thermostat here. I could turn up the heat. But at night I don't think the place would warm if I left it set at 30, the heaters run a lot now. It's just the windows. I need to get curtains. Curtains must rise to the top of my priorities. Curtains will block some of the cold at night, will block the hot sun in summer, the morning sun on my computer screen now.

So I've been here a week yesterday. Pretty good week. I'm doing well. If I could just get my eating/exercise habits back on track I'd be good to roll. Money is an issue right now. The cold is an issue right now. But I am envisioning the most perfect spring being sprung here. I need to feed my creativity, nourish my soul, the rest will follow.

Watched "Brokeback Mountain" again last night. If you recall, I didn't think much of it the first time around, certainly didn't have the emotional connection my sisters had, who cried their eyes out. But sometimes you're just not in the right headspace when you watch something, you miss stuff, are unable to relate, and then you watch it a second time later and it's like you're watching a completely different film and you wonder how you could have disliked it so much the first time. So I thought maybe that would happen . . . I hoped that would happen. Nope. Nothing of the sort. I did kind of enjoy it more than the first time because I put on the English subtitles so I could actually understand the mumbling cowboy's lines, and I kinda bought that these two would have sex more than I did the first time . . . but the whole plot turns on the idea of loved, and still, I wasn't feeling the love. It's the first scene in the tent . . . I dunno. It's like they get drunk and shit happens and Ennis is so "morning after the night before, what the fuck just happened here" ashamed. I relate to this on many levels. Slinking away feeling like crap. And while he was off misbehaving a sheep killed. Guilt. Everything says it's a bad mistake. There's no love here. And then in the next breath there is--tender love scenes, playful rough-housing. Still not buying it. Disappointing. I hoped I'd get swept away this time.

I feel a viewing of "Vanilla Sky" on the rise. I haven't watched it since Tom Cruise went crazy. I hope that doesn't ruin it for me. I don't think it will. I watched "War of the Worlds" after he jumped on Oprah's couch and said terrible things about Brooke Shields and all that and it didn't matter that he was in it, it was still Spielberg and I still enjoyed. And "Vanilla Sky" is Cameron Crowe, and I love Cameron Crowe, so it's got to still be okay.

Slept in until almost 7:30 this morning. Stayed up pretty late though. I'm on track for my goal of getting up by 7:30 everyday for a month though. One week down, three to go. One week does not a solid habit make. I think it takes 16 days. Certainly after one month, it will just be the norm. I want to be a morning person. This is the first thing to develop. Then I want to be a morning person who gets up early and goes to the gym and eats breakfast and all that good stuff. This is the year for these things. It's coming.

Mood: cheerful
Drinking: coffee with cream in my bjp mug
Listening To: vivaldi's four seasons
Hair: in a headband so i can see

Time Cures All

Thank the Goddess! The pain situation improves. The flare is not completely over. And I'm so rarely totally pain-free that I remember those days like special occasions. But I am much improved today, and I haven't degenerated into a two-handed door opener, which was my fear. I noticed myself starting to get better a little after lunch yesterday. Normally as the day progresses I do get less stiff, less pain, just on a regular typical everyday. But when I'm in flare, I can get worse, which is what was going on the past couple of days. Yay! The worse is over for now. I seemed to get more work done yesterday too, which was good. Cuz I'm starting to freak out a little.

Today I will go outside and walk to the post office and the cafe and go to dinner and a movie. This is good.

Last night I watched Transamerica with Felicity Huffman. She's a woman playing a man being a woman, trans-gendered is the term I believe. She was up for a lot of awards last year, and won a few, but still I thought I'd have a hard time getting past the fact that she is really a woman to begin with. It's very interesting though, I was skeptical but she had me believing within the first 10 minutes. It's a good movie. Funny by times. Interesting. See it, if you haven't already. Though I'm likely the last person on earth who hasn't.

Tonight I am going to see Volver with Penelope Cruz. Should be good. It was up for awards recently at the Golden Globes. I don't really have time to go to movies, to be watching DVDs. But sometimes you just gotta take the couple of hours and do these things so you can return refreshed to your tasks. Like last night, I got a lot of work done after I watched the movie. So that was good. Going out tonight and seeing people and having real adult face to face conversation will stimulate some brain cells maybe.

I've been concerned lately about my brain cells. I seem to be forgetful or something. Lots of things on the tip of my tongue that I can never spit out. Knowing what word I want to use and not being able to remember what it is, having to look it up in the reverse dictionary by its meaning. Forgetting simple spellings and having to check. So, I've started taking folic acid every day. Will add more brain foods to my diet like blueberries. And I've started doing a Sudoku Puzzle online every morning.

It was not easy to get myself to do this because we all know how much I dislike numbers and figuring things out like that. Crosswords, yes. Anagrams, no. In the beginning I couldn't solve a puzzle correctly to save my soul (or my brain, as the case might be). Even the single star easy puzzles took a good half hour to 45 minutes to figure out correctly, if I could even do it at all. This was before Christmas sometime, when I decided this would be a good mind exercise for me.

They put a new sudoku on Pogo everyday, just one. So now I'm so much improved at these things that when I go there in the morning to do the new one I'm often disappointed if the puzzle is only rated one or two stars difficulty because that's too easy. I'll have it done in five minutes. Now, I love to see four of five stars shaded in.

I keep seeing sudoku puzzle books at magazine stands, but I haven't purchased one. I talk out loud when I do them. Talk to myself. Figure it all out orally . . . which would not be good for the train and I don't really have time to do any more than the one I do now at home. Though it might be nice to have some to do while I was in Miramichi. Yeah, I should buy a book.

Yesterday I made guacamole (yes, again, I need the nutrients in avocados) and salsa. Yum, yum, yummy! Mom got me this Miracle Blender thing for Christmas that I've been dying to try ever since, but just couldn't seem to find the time. Making these things from scratch, actually takes a bit more time than just popping some toast or throwing a potato into the microwave. And I've been in a crunch. Plus my kitchen has been in a perpetual state of disaster these past couple of weeks, so I haven't been willing to throw new appliances into that mix. Until yesterday.

I made the cutest little cup of salsa! The cup that you put your ingredients in to chop and mix also serves as a storage container. There are lids and everything. There's a blender base and then all these attachments. I guess this would be the generic brand of the Bullet that I saw on the TV infomercial awhile back. It worked fantastic for the salsa! Though I didn't have my bearings and went a little too fine this time. The avocado proved to be too . . . thick? dense? There are two blades though, and I might have been using the wrong one. So, after a few tries I did the guacamole in the manual food processor that Stacy gave me.

Still, it was fun and the result is so delicious. Eventually I want to make a lot of my own condiments, like peanut butter and ketchup, because then you can control the ingredients, the sugar, and it's all natural and fresh and has to be healthier for you. I had some of the salsa with my eggs this morning, instead of ketchup. Of course, the last time I bought ketchup there was a sale so I have a couple of bottles here that I do have to use up before I can go au natural.

I'm looking forward to making some smoothies using the blender attachment and also some juices . . . because apparently it's a juicer too. How cool is that?

And that's my ramble for today. Adios amigos.

Mood: chipper
Drinking: coffee
Listening To: humming, ice sliding off the roof
Hair: gawd!

Born to be Fit

So last week I started using this website called Fitday (www.fitday.com) to keep track of everything I put into my mouth, how many calories I burn daily, what nutrients I'm lacking, how much exercise I get, etc. Stacy put me onto this site. I had used it before a few years ago when I first quit smoking, but had forgotten it existed. I'm using their online Diet and Fitness Manager. It's free to join. There's a paid version that you can download that has advanced features, like adding your own custom recipes. It's only $20 US. I'm considering getting it. Just because I eat a lot of complicated things like guacamole, hamburgers, homemade salsa, etc. Entering each component, every time, becomes tedious. Plus, making the purchase would solidify my commitment to a healthy active lifestyle. If I start spending cash on things like a computerized diet and activity tracker, then I know I mean serious business.

Weight loss is not my primary goal here. I think if I achieve a healthy balance of carbs, protein and good fat, if I'm getting all my nutrients everyday, and I'm not overeating, if I continue to walk everywhere I need to go and try to add more activity to my life, weight loss will follow. I'll naturally gravitate back to my optimal size. That's my feeling on it anyway. I don't want to get bogged down in the numbers, with regard to shedding pounds. Instead I want to be aware if I need more potassium or if I'm lacking in iron. This is important.

Before Christmas I took the Real Age test (www.realage.com) It's also a free tool. I actually didn't take all of it, just the nutrition part, and based on my eating habits they put me at about 39.5 years old (my REAL age in terms of how old my body feels), which is older than my actual calendar birthday. I was actually kind of happy with this number because it's only a couple years older than what I really am.

Years ago, before I quit smoking, before I started eating healthier, before I started walking everywhere, I took this test (all of it, not just the nutrition part) and I was in pretty bad shape, a good 10 to 15 years older than my actual age at the time. So, this number showed progress.

In the test results they tell you what you're doing right and to continue doing, then they tell you what you can do differently or better in order to make your Real Age younger. So, before Christmas I took this test and I took the suggestions to heart and immediately changed some things. Like I went out and bought supplements based on specific vitamins and minerals they said I was lacking. I've been taking them everyday ever since. I also added breakfast to my daily to do list. So I never forget anymore. I always eat breakfast now. If you've been reading for long, you know breakfast has been a concern for awhile. But I think it's finally starting to stick.

So last week I took the test again, and this time I took all of it--General Health, Medical History, Medications, Lifestyle and Safety, Stress and Social Support, Nutrition, Physical Activities. It's a pretty intense test. Lots of questions.

And now . . . My Real Age is 1.9 years YOUNGER than my Calendar Age! I'm doing it, folks! I'm reaching my health goals. I'm making positive lifestyle changes. And if I can go from a chain smoking, beer drinking, pill popping, french frie eating, inactive insomniac . . . to someone who eats veggies and fruits and breakfast everyday . . . well, anyone can.

Mood: self-satisfied
Drinking: coffee
Listening To: email dinging in
Hair: in my eyes