Sometimes we need a little reminder of the basics of life. Listening to Covey as I write for Sammy ... some highlights:
Don’t you feel better when the weather outside is great? What if you could carry your own weather with you? You could always feel great no matter what!
Don’t you feel better when people treat you well? Isn’t that a kind of social weather? When you carry your weather with you, you can choose to be consistent regardless of how people treat you. That’s being proactive. Being reactive is the opposite. You always see yourself as the victim —- of the weather, of your moods, of someone who has it in for you.
Your life is the result of your own decisions, not conditions, not what’s happening around you.
Between what happens to us and our response is a space. In that space lies our power and our freedom to choose our response, and in those choices lay our growth and our happiness.
Even in the midst of challenging circumstances we have this exhilarating power to choose how we will respond. This is the last human freedom, the power to choose your own response to any condition, to anything that happens to you.
It’s not what people do to us that hurts us, it’s our chosen response to what they do that hurts us.
As Gandhi said, “They cannot take away our self respect if we do not give it to them.”
We must simply never build our emotional life around the weaknesses of other people. Otherwise, we give them permission to continue to mess up our lives. We give our future away.
The miserable person at work doesn't make you miserable, you choose to be miserable.
We have the power and the freedom to choose, to create our own weather each day.
Mood: inspired, sleepy
Drinking: cheap, coarse, black coffee
Listening To: habits of productive people
Hair: tied up
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Sweet Talk
Of course in the computer crash I lost all my music again, except for what's on my mp3 player, so I haven't been really quick to load up again, have taken instead to listening to the radio. Virgin Xtreme is right up my alley with Kate Nash followed by Babyshambles and then The Killers.
Yesterday was a good day! If I could live like I did yesterday everyday then by George you'd see some frigging progress. Yesterday I did a lot of stuff, dealt with a lot of people, handled a lot of different situations as they arose, I worked A LOT! I talked with so many interview subjects and writers yesterday, it makes my head spin. Yet, I still found time to prepare three healthy meals, do two loads of laundry that included changing bedding, do dishes, watch a little George Strombo on tv and get in 5350 steps. It is very true that the more you do, the more you are capable of doing.
Yesterday I was talking to someone about getting up early and I was struck by what he said -- "I feel more successful when I get up early." I hadn't really thought of it that way. I mean I know I feel better about myself, about the day, about life in general when I'm getting up early than when I'm not. But I hadn't thought it out that far. That's it, exactly! I feel more successful when I get up early. And if you start the day successfully, it's so much more motivating and positive than if you sleep late and begin the day feeling like a big old failure. I have completely changed my sleep pattern this last year. From night hawk to morning dove. That, to me, is almost as huge as quitting smoking. Not as difficult to do, mind you, but I think just as huge a deviation from that person I always was.
And now I'm off for another flurry of a day. More people to talk with, more things to edit, lots to write.
Mood: positive
Drinking: peppermint herbal tea, 100% pure orange juice diluted half and half with water
Listening To: Virgin Xtreme, Hot Chip - Ready for the Floor
Hair: growing more and more everyday
Yesterday was a good day! If I could live like I did yesterday everyday then by George you'd see some frigging progress. Yesterday I did a lot of stuff, dealt with a lot of people, handled a lot of different situations as they arose, I worked A LOT! I talked with so many interview subjects and writers yesterday, it makes my head spin. Yet, I still found time to prepare three healthy meals, do two loads of laundry that included changing bedding, do dishes, watch a little George Strombo on tv and get in 5350 steps. It is very true that the more you do, the more you are capable of doing.
Yesterday I was talking to someone about getting up early and I was struck by what he said -- "I feel more successful when I get up early." I hadn't really thought of it that way. I mean I know I feel better about myself, about the day, about life in general when I'm getting up early than when I'm not. But I hadn't thought it out that far. That's it, exactly! I feel more successful when I get up early. And if you start the day successfully, it's so much more motivating and positive than if you sleep late and begin the day feeling like a big old failure. I have completely changed my sleep pattern this last year. From night hawk to morning dove. That, to me, is almost as huge as quitting smoking. Not as difficult to do, mind you, but I think just as huge a deviation from that person I always was.
And now I'm off for another flurry of a day. More people to talk with, more things to edit, lots to write.
Mood: positive
Drinking: peppermint herbal tea, 100% pure orange juice diluted half and half with water
Listening To: Virgin Xtreme, Hot Chip - Ready for the Floor
Hair: growing more and more everyday
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Happy Christmas!
I'm so over Merry y'all. It's days past the big day and I'm just getting into it. Well, maybe I'm not getting into the Christmas thing at all, just the New Year thing, but no matter my belly is fluttery with butterflies and I'm excited about life! Maybe this is just because I seemed to sleep a bit better last night and the mucus in my throat has dissipated somewhat. But who cares! I'm excited about the day! It's snowing! Like big ass flakes!
Last night Stacy and I exchanged our Christmas gifts. As usual I felt like I didn't get her nearly enough, but mine was the gift that if properly executed will just keep on giving throughout the year, so maybe that compensates. As usual she got me everything I wanted and more! Bakeware! A set of six pieces, that is like earthenware that you can go from oven to table. Just makes ya want to bake beans and make a lasagna! They're brown (very earthy and good!) and the set includes a rectangle piece, a square pan, a round pot with cover (for the beans don't ya know!) and two smaller round ones (are they called ramekins?). Very excited about it!
That on its own was enough, but the giving continued. She also got me a mug made by an NB potter named Babineau. It's lovely and big, which is how I like them and unique in that the base of the mug is pinched, good for picking up by the base instead of the handle. Good grip. The base is light coloured, plain, and it's trimmed in green tones. Kinda rough and imperfect, not too much glaze, which is exactly what I like so well.
And now you're thinking surely that's all, but nooooo, she also got me two gift sets one from St.Ives and the other from The Healing Garden Organics (Fig and Lavender!), which are both things I love but other than the St. Ives apricot facial scrub (which I just ran out of and needed some more) I never buy for myself.
Another gift was the Sentimento Latino wall calendar featuring artwork by Antonio Broccoli Porto, which has some very interesting and lovely paintings in it. Fabulous! There was also a dayplanner for 2008, a tin of Timothy's Coffee of the World White Hot Chocolate, which I'm dying to try, and two body bars from the Method line (which is natural, organic, etc.) The bars are called pure minimalist, which we all know suits me pretty well, lol. Oh and I nearly forgot! (Because I've nearly eaten them all) A box of homemade chocolate truffles! Oh boy! They are yummy!
So we had a great time exchanging gifts and catching up. Part of my gift to her involves our blogs. The theme of my gift was Wellness and Accountability. Basically her and my wellness, us being accountable to one another. It's kind of a gift to both of us. I promise to be all up in her face every day and this will help both of us. I wrote her three notes on postcards of different women. One said that we would each write three wellness (mind, body, spirit) goals for 2008 and post them on our blogs for the world to see (and thereby hold us accountable to achieve them). Another said that beginning in the New Year the first email I send every day will be to her, telling her how many steps I took the day before and asking for her numbers (we both have pedometers). And the third card said that we would begin the year with a cleansing detox diet for seven days. I emailed her the instructions for that one this morning. My gift included Sobeys gift cards to buy the fresh produce for the cleanse. I also gave her a Women's Day Planner, a time management course with cd, a book on emotional health and two planters. So yeah, totally doesn't seem like I got her very much in comparison. I need to be extra diligent in my bugging her to keep stepping.
Today I'm expecting more company. A friend is coming to stay the night. Girl talk!! Yay! Hopefully, the snow will not ruin our plans. Fingers crossed.
Mood: happy
Drinking: coffee, instant, black
Listening To: the fridge hum (it seems excessively loud these past few days)
Hair: forgotten and neglected
Last night Stacy and I exchanged our Christmas gifts. As usual I felt like I didn't get her nearly enough, but mine was the gift that if properly executed will just keep on giving throughout the year, so maybe that compensates. As usual she got me everything I wanted and more! Bakeware! A set of six pieces, that is like earthenware that you can go from oven to table. Just makes ya want to bake beans and make a lasagna! They're brown (very earthy and good!) and the set includes a rectangle piece, a square pan, a round pot with cover (for the beans don't ya know!) and two smaller round ones (are they called ramekins?). Very excited about it!
That on its own was enough, but the giving continued. She also got me a mug made by an NB potter named Babineau. It's lovely and big, which is how I like them and unique in that the base of the mug is pinched, good for picking up by the base instead of the handle. Good grip. The base is light coloured, plain, and it's trimmed in green tones. Kinda rough and imperfect, not too much glaze, which is exactly what I like so well.
And now you're thinking surely that's all, but nooooo, she also got me two gift sets one from St.Ives and the other from The Healing Garden Organics (Fig and Lavender!), which are both things I love but other than the St. Ives apricot facial scrub (which I just ran out of and needed some more) I never buy for myself.
Another gift was the Sentimento Latino wall calendar featuring artwork by Antonio Broccoli Porto, which has some very interesting and lovely paintings in it. Fabulous! There was also a dayplanner for 2008, a tin of Timothy's Coffee of the World White Hot Chocolate, which I'm dying to try, and two body bars from the Method line (which is natural, organic, etc.) The bars are called pure minimalist, which we all know suits me pretty well, lol. Oh and I nearly forgot! (Because I've nearly eaten them all) A box of homemade chocolate truffles! Oh boy! They are yummy!
So we had a great time exchanging gifts and catching up. Part of my gift to her involves our blogs. The theme of my gift was Wellness and Accountability. Basically her and my wellness, us being accountable to one another. It's kind of a gift to both of us. I promise to be all up in her face every day and this will help both of us. I wrote her three notes on postcards of different women. One said that we would each write three wellness (mind, body, spirit) goals for 2008 and post them on our blogs for the world to see (and thereby hold us accountable to achieve them). Another said that beginning in the New Year the first email I send every day will be to her, telling her how many steps I took the day before and asking for her numbers (we both have pedometers). And the third card said that we would begin the year with a cleansing detox diet for seven days. I emailed her the instructions for that one this morning. My gift included Sobeys gift cards to buy the fresh produce for the cleanse. I also gave her a Women's Day Planner, a time management course with cd, a book on emotional health and two planters. So yeah, totally doesn't seem like I got her very much in comparison. I need to be extra diligent in my bugging her to keep stepping.
Today I'm expecting more company. A friend is coming to stay the night. Girl talk!! Yay! Hopefully, the snow will not ruin our plans. Fingers crossed.
Mood: happy
Drinking: coffee, instant, black
Listening To: the fridge hum (it seems excessively loud these past few days)
Hair: forgotten and neglected
Friday, October 05, 2007
Life's A Poker Game
"Life consists not in holding good cards, but in playing those you hold well." - Josh Billings.
Losers go into the game with money they can't afford to lose. They always need to win, to get even, to win back what they've already lost. The need to win causes them to lose. They play hands they shouldn't play. They don't fold when they should fold, because they can't afford to fold. They can't afford to play in the first place. Losers are always chasing their losses rather than playing the hand they're dealt.
It's the same in life. Winners play the hand life deals them and they succeed. Losers chase their losses, focus on their problems and obstacles, and continue to add to their losses. Winners make lemonade of the lemons life deals them, then they open a lemonade stand, sell that lemonade, invest their earnings and make their fortunes. Losers sit and look at those lemons and cry, "why me, lord?" hands raised to the heavens, fall into a deep depression and give up. Or they get angry. "Oh yeah, you gonna give ME lemons! I'll show you!" And then they stomp on all those lemons and tear to them shreds, so they're left with nothing. Then they sit around and moan about how they have nothing, no luck, no opportunities. Meanwhile, buddy with the lemonade stand was dealt the very same hand and went on to become the richest most successful person in the world.
You have to live the life you've been given. You have to focus on the positive, focus on your hopes and dreams, make goals, have ambition, always be learning and growing and moving forward, take action, use your talents and gifts. If you focus on the negative, you get stuck in a pattern of negativity. If you're always complaining you'll just get more of what you complain about, the same with worry, the same with regret. Live in the present. Be grateful. Dare to move forward.
I mean look at Oprah. That woman started out with a big ole pile of lemons, being born black, female, poor, add in the sexual abuse and you think it's a wonder she ever amounted to anything, all the odds were certainly stacked against her. I'm sure there a lot of girls who were dealt the very same lemons as Oprah who ended up dead or living miserable lives. And no, she didn't get lucky. She didn't win some kind of lottery jackpot. She's where she is today because she worked her ass off to get there. She played the hand she was dealt to the best of her ability and she won. She didn't chase her losses.
And then you've got someone like Brittany Spears. That girl has so much to be grateful for in her life! Two kids of her own, a family. She was a success since she was a kid. She's already made a fortune and could do anything she wanted to do right now. ANYTHING! She has the resources to pursue any of her dreams. And she squanders it all away. She doesn't care. "Life gave me lemonade but I want lemons, dammit!" She's got every opportunity, life has dealt her a pretty great hand to begin with, I mean in comparison to Oprah, but Brittany's focused on the negative, most likely to do with love and relationships, she's chasing her losses, and therefore she is a loser. She doesn't value her hand, because a person who values their children obviously wouldn't lose custody because of drugs and alcohol and concerns for the children's safety.
Okay, moving on, in poker you need to only play with money you can afford to lose, but you also have to have a lot of patience. If you don't have the cards you need to fold and wait to catch the cards that you know you can win with. Same thing in life. We want it and we want it now, dammit! I'm guilty of this. I see something I want to buy, I don't really have the money, instead of saving the money I buy it on my credit card, which means I end up paying way more for it because of interest and so on. Meanwhile, if I just waited til I could save up the cash to buy the thing, and worked on paying off my credit card once and for all. I'd have way more money at my disposal all the time. We need to have more patience. And this goes for all things, not just money. We want a better job, so we take whatever we can get in order to get out of the job we're in right now as soon as possible. We want to find that special someone, so we hook up with the first person we meet in the bar and hope they are the one. We want to build a home, have a family, get a pet, so we behave in these rash illogical manners to get these things we want. We're always going off half-cocked and wondering what the hell happened when we get what we wanted and it turns out to be a disaster. We need to be ready to roll with opportunities when they present themselves but we need to know when to sit still and just wait.
Yes, you win a few, you lose a few, but the important thing is the long haul, you need to win more over time than what you lose in order to make gains. If you have a weekly poker game that you always go to and every week you lose $50 but one week you win $300, that's no reason to celebrate if you've been playing faithfully for years on end. You're still a loser! One pot doesn't make you the big winner. Same thing in life. You won't always win, there will be losses, pain, suffering, major obstacles that knock you onto your butt, but the important thing to move forward and make progress is to win more than you lose. Accept your losses and move on to the next win.
“You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run. You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table. There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.” -- Kenny Rogers
Mood: having a poker kinda day
Drinking: coffee, black, the cheap stuff
Listening To: just me typing
Hair: pulled back off my face, cuz i still haven't dealt with critical mass
Sunday, August 26, 2007
The Last Night
In the words of Bon Jovi:
I be yearning. I be yearning LOTS! Not today necessarily, but off and on throughout the months, mostly on, sometimes off. But what I need to do is stop yearning and get down to serious business. I can't even define what it is I yearn for, I just know I yearn. Gotta name it to claim it says . . . Dr. Phil? I need to do the mighty complex exercise my sister posted on her blog. Get to the root of this yearning and do something about it. Because right now I'm all over the place . . . boys, words, money, adventure, fitness, health, travel, family, etc. etc. I've no idea what I want. It's something we don't spend a lot of time thinking about. What do I want? Most of the time we just go along dealing with whatever happens. And frankly, it can be pretty scary to honestly sit down and identify what it is you want in all areas of your life. So we trudge along complacently accepting where we're at . . . I don't want to be that person, a person who just accepts their fate and never steps outside the box, who never breaks through the terror barrier.
I need my Simple Abundance book! Who's got it? And the other one too, Something More. Are they packed in my boxes of books awaiting a bookshelf? I think not . . . they're on loan someplace. I'm calling my mother. She'll know.
Yesterday I got so much done! But not the lamp. I tried really hard to hang this vintage 70s ceramic lamp I've been hauling around in a box for years now, but all I did was tear my ceiling to pieces. I need better hooks and help I think. I'm calling my mother! She'll help.
My mother's camping :-( I'll call her later.
So yesterday was a really good day. I mean a REALLY good day! And I totally know it's because I turned on the music. You just can't sing and dance to your favourite tunes and have anything but a good day. I think that's why I've been depressed this past while. I forgot to take any tunes to Barnbonia. I would listen to the Galaxy Rock Alternative station where I'd get the occasional Killers tune and lots of Marilyn Manson's Heart Shaped Glasses, but it just wasn't the same as having at the tip of my fingers, one click away, all my Jon Bon and all the Killers and the Scissor Sisters and Matt Mays and the Sex Pistols and the Black Eyed Peas and and and . . . you know, all the stuff that makes me happy, and making my own playlists on itunes. I function better with the music on. I know this. Silly to have forgotten to pack some tunes. Oh well, bygones, I'm back and it's on and all is well in my world again, my energy's on the rise.
I'm craving fish 'n chips. Suddenly. It just struck me. I will resist.
Mood: every which way
Drinking: coffee, black
Listening To: Bon Jovi - It 's My Life (Album Version)
via FoxyTunes
Hair: thick and hot in today's humidity
There's nothing worse than living less
When you yearn for something more
I be yearning. I be yearning LOTS! Not today necessarily, but off and on throughout the months, mostly on, sometimes off. But what I need to do is stop yearning and get down to serious business. I can't even define what it is I yearn for, I just know I yearn. Gotta name it to claim it says . . . Dr. Phil? I need to do the mighty complex exercise my sister posted on her blog. Get to the root of this yearning and do something about it. Because right now I'm all over the place . . . boys, words, money, adventure, fitness, health, travel, family, etc. etc. I've no idea what I want. It's something we don't spend a lot of time thinking about. What do I want? Most of the time we just go along dealing with whatever happens. And frankly, it can be pretty scary to honestly sit down and identify what it is you want in all areas of your life. So we trudge along complacently accepting where we're at . . . I don't want to be that person, a person who just accepts their fate and never steps outside the box, who never breaks through the terror barrier.
I need my Simple Abundance book! Who's got it? And the other one too, Something More. Are they packed in my boxes of books awaiting a bookshelf? I think not . . . they're on loan someplace. I'm calling my mother. She'll know.
Yesterday I got so much done! But not the lamp. I tried really hard to hang this vintage 70s ceramic lamp I've been hauling around in a box for years now, but all I did was tear my ceiling to pieces. I need better hooks and help I think. I'm calling my mother! She'll help.
My mother's camping :-( I'll call her later.
So yesterday was a really good day. I mean a REALLY good day! And I totally know it's because I turned on the music. You just can't sing and dance to your favourite tunes and have anything but a good day. I think that's why I've been depressed this past while. I forgot to take any tunes to Barnbonia. I would listen to the Galaxy Rock Alternative station where I'd get the occasional Killers tune and lots of Marilyn Manson's Heart Shaped Glasses, but it just wasn't the same as having at the tip of my fingers, one click away, all my Jon Bon and all the Killers and the Scissor Sisters and Matt Mays and the Sex Pistols and the Black Eyed Peas and and and . . . you know, all the stuff that makes me happy, and making my own playlists on itunes. I function better with the music on. I know this. Silly to have forgotten to pack some tunes. Oh well, bygones, I'm back and it's on and all is well in my world again, my energy's on the rise.
I'm craving fish 'n chips. Suddenly. It just struck me. I will resist.
Mood: every which way
Drinking: coffee, black
Listening To: Bon Jovi - It 's My Life (Album Version)
via FoxyTunes
Hair: thick and hot in today's humidity
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
What A Morning!
I'm having a great day! I packed my backpack with scribblers, books and pens, strapped it on and headed off over the hill. Even though I was going to the Goodie Shop restaurant, I went through the Ritchie Wharf and walked along the water for a way. Just because I like walking by the water. I should go to strawberry marsh some day and walk. I noticed the hours on the library door (closed today until 1pm) and lucked out by getting the last booth in the restaurant, the only one without a window. That way I couldn't get distracted by passersby and parking lot mishaps.
I ordered water, black coffee, the MANGO approved omelet with onions, mushrooms, green peppers & tomatoes, and whole wheat toast, plain, no butter. While I waited for the food to arrive I opened a notebook and put pen to paper for "morning pages." Julia Cameron talks about morning pages in her book The Artists Way, which I have yet to read. Basically it's three pages of writing, long hand, anything that comes to your head. There is no pressure to make it perfect. It can be a to-do list repeated over and over or even your name. It doesn't have to make sense. It's just the act of putting pen to paper. To get going.
I struggle with that freedom, letting loose, not worrying about editing, re-writing, perfecting. It's an issue for me. Morning pages are supposed to help. Writing the Sammy story helped. It's kind of the same exercise. Without morning pages, I never would have finished the salmon adventure. I had to allow myself the freedom to just let fly and write whatever came into my head, push forward without thought to grammar, spelling, even making sense of the whole thing. It's a good practice for me to get into and maintain. Especially since I want to get back to my real writing, the serious stuff, the novel, to Limbo itself and my little Irish man Callum and the leaves swirling in the lane.
Yeah! I'm ready to go there again. And how do I know I'm ready? (cuz I've thought I was ready before and nothing happened you know) Because when I opened my notebook and put pen to paper to begin morning pages while I waited for breakfast, without hesitation I began, "Callum met Prue at the legion. He would often go there on a Thursday night to sit and sip a beer quietly in the back corner of the pool room . . ." And I continued through breakfast and a second cup of coffee. I didn't want to stop. I could have wrote all day. It was like I had never stopped writing. I could see him and her and how they met as if I just saw them yesterday. And the excitement! The thrill of having the words spill out and onto the page. To create on the fly and form be damned! I cannot even describe the adrenaline, how pumped I got sitting there with the waitress giving me strange looks, perhaps wondering what I was furiously scribbling. I wanted to come home and let fly for the rest of the day. (But I've got A LOT of work to do on other things, no time for that right now.)
It felt good. I feel good about it. I need to do more of that. I will do more of that. I will not keep myself from my true passion any longer. Life is too short. There are enough hours in the day. I can do it all, have it all, be it all. And I will.
Mood: charged up
Drinking: water
Listening To: gulls and crows
Hair: damp from sweat
I ordered water, black coffee, the MANGO approved omelet with onions, mushrooms, green peppers & tomatoes, and whole wheat toast, plain, no butter. While I waited for the food to arrive I opened a notebook and put pen to paper for "morning pages." Julia Cameron talks about morning pages in her book The Artists Way, which I have yet to read. Basically it's three pages of writing, long hand, anything that comes to your head. There is no pressure to make it perfect. It can be a to-do list repeated over and over or even your name. It doesn't have to make sense. It's just the act of putting pen to paper. To get going.
I struggle with that freedom, letting loose, not worrying about editing, re-writing, perfecting. It's an issue for me. Morning pages are supposed to help. Writing the Sammy story helped. It's kind of the same exercise. Without morning pages, I never would have finished the salmon adventure. I had to allow myself the freedom to just let fly and write whatever came into my head, push forward without thought to grammar, spelling, even making sense of the whole thing. It's a good practice for me to get into and maintain. Especially since I want to get back to my real writing, the serious stuff, the novel, to Limbo itself and my little Irish man Callum and the leaves swirling in the lane.
Yeah! I'm ready to go there again. And how do I know I'm ready? (cuz I've thought I was ready before and nothing happened you know) Because when I opened my notebook and put pen to paper to begin morning pages while I waited for breakfast, without hesitation I began, "Callum met Prue at the legion. He would often go there on a Thursday night to sit and sip a beer quietly in the back corner of the pool room . . ." And I continued through breakfast and a second cup of coffee. I didn't want to stop. I could have wrote all day. It was like I had never stopped writing. I could see him and her and how they met as if I just saw them yesterday. And the excitement! The thrill of having the words spill out and onto the page. To create on the fly and form be damned! I cannot even describe the adrenaline, how pumped I got sitting there with the waitress giving me strange looks, perhaps wondering what I was furiously scribbling. I wanted to come home and let fly for the rest of the day. (But I've got A LOT of work to do on other things, no time for that right now.)
It felt good. I feel good about it. I need to do more of that. I will do more of that. I will not keep myself from my true passion any longer. Life is too short. There are enough hours in the day. I can do it all, have it all, be it all. And I will.
Mood: charged up
Drinking: water
Listening To: gulls and crows
Hair: damp from sweat
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Fuel of Achievement
Listening to Brian Tracy this morning as he speaks about the fuel of achievement.
Determine all the reasons why you want the goal, Brian says before quoting Nietzsche: "A man can bear any what if he has a big enough why."
If you want it badly enough, you can overcome anything. When you set yourself a goal, the universe will sometimes throw everything at you that it can in order to deter you from getting where you want to go. But if you want it enough, you'll stick to your guns. If you have a lot of reasons why you want this thing, a lot of things you're going to do when you achieve this goal, then you will stare down any obstacle and overcome. This is so true. I recognize it in my own life, in the things I've quit and the things I've fought for, in the obstacles I've overcome and the challenges that I gave up on.
So, he says to make a list, an actual physical list on paper. He uses the word spiral notebook and of course my heart goes all aflutter! Any excuse to crack open another new spiral notebook! But seriously. If I only have three reasons to be successful at my work and make more money, then I won't try very hard, will I? And at the first sign of an obstacle I'll be throwing up my hands and throwing in the towel. But if I have hundreds of reasons, thousands of reasons, a spiral notebook full of reasons, I'll be a force to be reckoned with. Think about it. Make a list.
Mood: philosophical
Drinking: coffee
Listening To: brian tracy
Hair: kinda sorta in my eyes
Determine all the reasons why you want the goal, Brian says before quoting Nietzsche: "A man can bear any what if he has a big enough why."
If you want it badly enough, you can overcome anything. When you set yourself a goal, the universe will sometimes throw everything at you that it can in order to deter you from getting where you want to go. But if you want it enough, you'll stick to your guns. If you have a lot of reasons why you want this thing, a lot of things you're going to do when you achieve this goal, then you will stare down any obstacle and overcome. This is so true. I recognize it in my own life, in the things I've quit and the things I've fought for, in the obstacles I've overcome and the challenges that I gave up on.
So, he says to make a list, an actual physical list on paper. He uses the word spiral notebook and of course my heart goes all aflutter! Any excuse to crack open another new spiral notebook! But seriously. If I only have three reasons to be successful at my work and make more money, then I won't try very hard, will I? And at the first sign of an obstacle I'll be throwing up my hands and throwing in the towel. But if I have hundreds of reasons, thousands of reasons, a spiral notebook full of reasons, I'll be a force to be reckoned with. Think about it. Make a list.
Mood: philosophical
Drinking: coffee
Listening To: brian tracy
Hair: kinda sorta in my eyes
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Priceless
Would you cut off both your arms for a million dollars? Five million? Ten? How about your sight? Would you give up your eyesight for ten million dollars? What about the ability to walk? Would you trade your legs for twenty million dollars? Forget about the physical stuff for a second. If you could have ten million dollars but in exchange you could never feel love again, would you take the money? What about joy? Or happiness? The answer to all of these things should never be the money, and if there's any thought to the money, then you need to seriously re-examine your priorities!
The point is that of course we wouldn't trade any of these things for any amount of money. Of course not! And what does that tell us? You are already priceless. Right now. Right this very second you are a priceless individual. Me too! So you know how you think to yourself things like, "If I could only lose the weight then I'd be happy" or "If I could only get enough money to buy that thing then everything will be okay" or "If only I could be with him and have him love me, I'd be complete" ... Horse Shit! When you lose the weight, you're not going to be happy, then it'll be something else. When you get enough money together and buy that thing, everything is not going to be okay, because then there'll be something else. And when you're with him and he loves you, you won't feel complete, because nobody else can complete another person, we have to complete ourselves.
So why always live in the future tense? Why not be happy with yourself right now? Why not be okay with what you have right now? Why not love yourself and be complete right now? Because you're already priceless. So why not live in the now and enjoy it.
Mood: for 10 million dollars i'd tell you
Drinking: water
Listening To: the dryer fluffing my undies!!
Hair: needing an attitude adjustment
The point is that of course we wouldn't trade any of these things for any amount of money. Of course not! And what does that tell us? You are already priceless. Right now. Right this very second you are a priceless individual. Me too! So you know how you think to yourself things like, "If I could only lose the weight then I'd be happy" or "If I could only get enough money to buy that thing then everything will be okay" or "If only I could be with him and have him love me, I'd be complete" ... Horse Shit! When you lose the weight, you're not going to be happy, then it'll be something else. When you get enough money together and buy that thing, everything is not going to be okay, because then there'll be something else. And when you're with him and he loves you, you won't feel complete, because nobody else can complete another person, we have to complete ourselves.
So why always live in the future tense? Why not be happy with yourself right now? Why not be okay with what you have right now? Why not love yourself and be complete right now? Because you're already priceless. So why not live in the now and enjoy it.
Mood: for 10 million dollars i'd tell you
Drinking: water
Listening To: the dryer fluffing my undies!!
Hair: needing an attitude adjustment
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Faking It
"Fake it until you make it." This phrase has been hitting me over the head today. This morning I have read this or some version of it about six times. I've only been up four hours! That's a lot of times! Just last week I reaffirmed this advice to my sister who had consciously corrected a self-defeating behaviour even though inside the old feelings very much existed and were fighting to take over. Faking it works. This is one of those things I know for sure. Whenever I think of this concept I'm taken back to Toronto in the early 90s, terribly shy little me in a new job with an exciting young company. I wasn't very outgoing. I didn't warm up to people automatically. I needed to get to know people. I had discovered earlier that it took me about six weeks in a new job to get comfortable and be myself. The only problem was I was in a position in the hub of this company, I had contact with everyone that came through the door or telephoned. I couldn't be mousy. The company needed a positive energetic force of nature in its centre. That was so not me, and when I was called into my superior's office to chat about my attitude and my future with the company, it didn't seem like I was going to be given the six weeks I needed in order to warm up to the place. I needed to change! And I needed to do it immediately! To show my commitment to the company I volunteered to take assertiveness training. She was impressed and agreed to set that up, but warned me that I also needed to try harder in the meantime.
Woe was me! I remember going home and sobbing on my boyfriend's shoulder. Wailing about how this was the best place I'd ever worked and I loved it there, it was exciting, and they were going to fire me before I even had a chance to do anything. Ever logical the boy could only see two options: a) if you don't want to be the person they need you to be, quit and find a job where you can just be who you are now OR b) if you're sure this is the place for you, then just do it! Be that person they need you to be!
And that's what I did. I went into the office the next morning with a smile plastered on my face and I greeted everyone warmly with enthusiasm, asking questions about their lives, flirting and/or teasing a little if appropriate, cracking jokes, and generally making it my business to put a smile on the face of everyone I came in contact with. I studied the behaviour of the other girl I worked with who was more naturally upbeat and outgoing. I studied her and I modeled her behaviour. And it was tough! I felt so phony. I didn't feel genuine. I didn't feel like me. I felt like my work life was a big play that I was acting in. But I loved that job and I was determined to make it work.
As the days and weeks went by, pretending got a little easier. I didn't get fired. I reached my six week point and truly started to settle in and feel comfortable. I had probably been there for about 3 or 4 months when the assertiveness training course came up. I was excited about taking it. Finally I'd be able to learn what I needed to learn in order to be the person I wanted to be! But then an odd thing happened. I went to the course and I participated in the exercises and did all the work and at the end of the day all the other participants, the instructor, and even myself were left scratching our heads at why such an outgoing and assertive person had been sent on this course. I saw shadows of my former self in the other participants, but I was no longer like them. And I wasn't pretending. Somewhere in all the acting, I had become the person I wanted to be.
Fake it until you make it. This theory continues to help me to evolve. I have a very clear vision of the person I want to become and I'm just gonna keep on faking it until I make it to the finish line.
Mood: starving! cuz i can smell pork loin roasting in my oven! yummy!
Drinking: coffee, black, and water, of course
Listening To: sirens, lots of them around this morning
Hair: in the blue headband that does not match the green/blue on my sweater
Woe was me! I remember going home and sobbing on my boyfriend's shoulder. Wailing about how this was the best place I'd ever worked and I loved it there, it was exciting, and they were going to fire me before I even had a chance to do anything. Ever logical the boy could only see two options: a) if you don't want to be the person they need you to be, quit and find a job where you can just be who you are now OR b) if you're sure this is the place for you, then just do it! Be that person they need you to be!
And that's what I did. I went into the office the next morning with a smile plastered on my face and I greeted everyone warmly with enthusiasm, asking questions about their lives, flirting and/or teasing a little if appropriate, cracking jokes, and generally making it my business to put a smile on the face of everyone I came in contact with. I studied the behaviour of the other girl I worked with who was more naturally upbeat and outgoing. I studied her and I modeled her behaviour. And it was tough! I felt so phony. I didn't feel genuine. I didn't feel like me. I felt like my work life was a big play that I was acting in. But I loved that job and I was determined to make it work.
As the days and weeks went by, pretending got a little easier. I didn't get fired. I reached my six week point and truly started to settle in and feel comfortable. I had probably been there for about 3 or 4 months when the assertiveness training course came up. I was excited about taking it. Finally I'd be able to learn what I needed to learn in order to be the person I wanted to be! But then an odd thing happened. I went to the course and I participated in the exercises and did all the work and at the end of the day all the other participants, the instructor, and even myself were left scratching our heads at why such an outgoing and assertive person had been sent on this course. I saw shadows of my former self in the other participants, but I was no longer like them. And I wasn't pretending. Somewhere in all the acting, I had become the person I wanted to be.
Fake it until you make it. This theory continues to help me to evolve. I have a very clear vision of the person I want to become and I'm just gonna keep on faking it until I make it to the finish line.
Mood: starving! cuz i can smell pork loin roasting in my oven! yummy!
Drinking: coffee, black, and water, of course
Listening To: sirens, lots of them around this morning
Hair: in the blue headband that does not match the green/blue on my sweater
Friday, June 01, 2007
2 AM Just Breathe
So this getting up at 6 every morning and still staying up all night may be getting to me during the day with fuzzy brain sleepiness. Today, I might even nap. It's not that I'm not tired at 9pm. It's not that I don't desperately want to go to bed at 10pm. It's that I'm behind. I'm behind on my work and desperately trying to get 'er done and nothing is coming easy or fast right now. So, if I'm still awake at 1:30am, how come I don't reset the alarm so I can sleep a little later than 6 you ask? Great question! The answer is quite simply, I can't give up, give in, quit, abandon the task I've set out to accomplish. That simple act of resetting the alarm to a later time represents me giving up on my self yet again. And I'm not doing it! No matter how sleepy and cranky I may get throughout the day on my four or five hours sleep. Plus, I'm waking shortly after five every morning on my own anyhow, without the alarm, so I don't know that setting it to later would even help the sleepy factor. I appear to be wired . . . and stupid. Go figure that!
Yesterday was hellish for brain fog. By 11:30 last night I could barely see my computer screen and couldn't type without hitting all the wrong keys, typos and mis-spelled words, I don't even know what I intended to say. The day before was better. But the day before that, same thing, all fogged in. On my clear-headed day I had a tomato basil egg white omelet and toast for breakfast, lots of protein. So this morning I blew past the cereal and went straight for the eggs and tomatoes again. So far, so good, I feel clear, but the test will be after lunch, whether I crash or not. If I don't then I will have to start making a direct point to load up on protein first thing in the day. Hopefully, this is all I need to do. Going to bed earlier is not an option for probably another week at least.
Last night I dreamed I went to my high school reunion. Or rather my classmates came to me. I was at my grandparent's house (why am i there so much in dreams?) and people arrived early in the day catching me unprepared and wearing ratty old sleep pants and a holey t-shirt, hair uncombed, teeth unbrushed, face unwashed, crusties in the corners of my eyes. I was horrified. And I had to play hostess in this condition. Everybody else was so well put together, assembled, you know. And one girl was talking to me saying how much she admired my down to earth nature and how refreshing it was to be around someone who so obviously didn't care what people thought and could just be themselves. She wasn't making fun. It wasn't a backhanded put-down. The girl was completely sincere. She totally thought this, really admired me. It was bizarre. Even more bizarre perhaps was calling S this morning and learning she also had a reunion dream last night, also revolving around the theme of clothing. In her dream everyone was forced to wear bikinis. Eep! Much more horrific than my dream, I'm afraid. We've resolved that we should buy a new outfit for this event, something we feel comfortable and confident in, so these dreams don't come true.
Mood: curious
Drinking: water, water, always water
Listening To: foundations, kate nash (yes again! I love, love, love her!)
Hair: fluffy
Yesterday was hellish for brain fog. By 11:30 last night I could barely see my computer screen and couldn't type without hitting all the wrong keys, typos and mis-spelled words, I don't even know what I intended to say. The day before was better. But the day before that, same thing, all fogged in. On my clear-headed day I had a tomato basil egg white omelet and toast for breakfast, lots of protein. So this morning I blew past the cereal and went straight for the eggs and tomatoes again. So far, so good, I feel clear, but the test will be after lunch, whether I crash or not. If I don't then I will have to start making a direct point to load up on protein first thing in the day. Hopefully, this is all I need to do. Going to bed earlier is not an option for probably another week at least.
Last night I dreamed I went to my high school reunion. Or rather my classmates came to me. I was at my grandparent's house (why am i there so much in dreams?) and people arrived early in the day catching me unprepared and wearing ratty old sleep pants and a holey t-shirt, hair uncombed, teeth unbrushed, face unwashed, crusties in the corners of my eyes. I was horrified. And I had to play hostess in this condition. Everybody else was so well put together, assembled, you know. And one girl was talking to me saying how much she admired my down to earth nature and how refreshing it was to be around someone who so obviously didn't care what people thought and could just be themselves. She wasn't making fun. It wasn't a backhanded put-down. The girl was completely sincere. She totally thought this, really admired me. It was bizarre. Even more bizarre perhaps was calling S this morning and learning she also had a reunion dream last night, also revolving around the theme of clothing. In her dream everyone was forced to wear bikinis. Eep! Much more horrific than my dream, I'm afraid. We've resolved that we should buy a new outfit for this event, something we feel comfortable and confident in, so these dreams don't come true.
Mood: curious
Drinking: water, water, always water
Listening To: foundations, kate nash (yes again! I love, love, love her!)
Hair: fluffy
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Walk Away Kel
I nearly pissed myself laughing last night. I've started listening to Podcasts while I have dinner. It helps to kill two birds with one stone. First, it keeps me from popping in a DVD and mindlessly vegging in front of the TV for two hours while I eat. Eating at the table in the dining room keeps me focused. And two, I get to actually listen to all these great Podcasts I subscribe to on iTunes without making me feel like I'm wasting time and being unproductive. I subscribe to about a half dozen, including about three from CBC Radio about books, authors, and writing, one from CBC Televison, YouTube, Tom Green (yeah, I can't help myself), but my absolute favourite is Smodcast with Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier. If you have never listened to this, you just have to, I dare you not to laugh. Yesterday's episode had a special guest host with Kevin Smith because Scott Mosier's dog died (so sad :-( I feel for him) and was taped on the east coast in Jersey because Kevin was on the road. They spent the whole hour pretty much talking about this gigantic flea market they went to. I snorted water up my nose a couple of times. They should issue a "Warning: Not to be consumed when consuming anything else" label on that. It's some freaking crazy stuff. Anyway, I'm NOT going to tell you anything about it, other than you need to look that stuff up and give it a listen.
Walk weekend is rapidly approaching. I think it's going to be a good experience. I'm looking forward to going to Moncton and spending some time with the kids. I'm not looking forward to trying to eat healthy and balanced while living in a hotel on a Mountain Road . . . but we'll see how I do with that. Hopefully, I'll find alternatives and not end up feeling crappy and lackluster. There are nearly 700 calories in a small peanut butter cup Blizzard. Think about that. I've much work to accomplish before I can mentally be prepared to leave for the weekend. But I'm working away at it diligently. Consistency is my new favourite word. Yesterday I cracked 2,000 words on a story, a personal record for me. That's one story. THE story. That doesn't include all the other crap I write on a daily basis. I never count any of that stuff. I never count this blog. I should though. Because sometimes I blog good stuff. Not today, perhaps. But sometimes. But when I think about the act of committing anywhere from 1,000-2,000 focused words per day, EVERY day, consistently . . . the possibilities blow my mind. Maybe there's hope of me evolving into a "real" writer yet. I'm certainly evolving. I hardly recognize myself in the mirror when I look into it at 6:05 every morning and say, "Hello inner voice! The day is mine!" Yeah, right out loud. And I don't care who hears. And at that quiet time of the morning if anyone's listening, they will hear. But I don't care how crazy it might seem to be talking to myself out loud in the mirror, because dammit if this motivational stuff isn't working. It's starting to take. Stuff is happening!
Mood: driven
Drinking: water, coffee, luke warm and black
Listening To: nothing yet, but I'm about to put on a little Tragically Hip
Hair: damp from this morning's shower still
Walk weekend is rapidly approaching. I think it's going to be a good experience. I'm looking forward to going to Moncton and spending some time with the kids. I'm not looking forward to trying to eat healthy and balanced while living in a hotel on a Mountain Road . . . but we'll see how I do with that. Hopefully, I'll find alternatives and not end up feeling crappy and lackluster. There are nearly 700 calories in a small peanut butter cup Blizzard. Think about that. I've much work to accomplish before I can mentally be prepared to leave for the weekend. But I'm working away at it diligently. Consistency is my new favourite word. Yesterday I cracked 2,000 words on a story, a personal record for me. That's one story. THE story. That doesn't include all the other crap I write on a daily basis. I never count any of that stuff. I never count this blog. I should though. Because sometimes I blog good stuff. Not today, perhaps. But sometimes. But when I think about the act of committing anywhere from 1,000-2,000 focused words per day, EVERY day, consistently . . . the possibilities blow my mind. Maybe there's hope of me evolving into a "real" writer yet. I'm certainly evolving. I hardly recognize myself in the mirror when I look into it at 6:05 every morning and say, "Hello inner voice! The day is mine!" Yeah, right out loud. And I don't care who hears. And at that quiet time of the morning if anyone's listening, they will hear. But I don't care how crazy it might seem to be talking to myself out loud in the mirror, because dammit if this motivational stuff isn't working. It's starting to take. Stuff is happening!
Mood: driven
Drinking: water, coffee, luke warm and black
Listening To: nothing yet, but I'm about to put on a little Tragically Hip
Hair: damp from this morning's shower still
Monday, May 28, 2007
Living with Purpose II
Mood: sleepy and wondering what to have for dinner
Drinking: lots and lots of water
Listening To: someone outside talking
Hair: washed this morn
Sunday, May 27, 2007
1000 Actions Challenge
An interesting thing happened this evening. I decided to sign up to take a 1000 Actions Challenge on a Message Board I'm part of. The concept is that procrastination is a result of inaction, therefore there can be no procrastination in action only inaction. To reach big goals it's less overwhelming if you break the process down into smaller action steps to get there. So, anyway, there's this challenge to do a thousand actions and I wanted to join. So I went to look for a notebook that I could keep track of my actions, posting them at the end of every day on the message board. Like today for example will look something like:
1. Joined the challenge.
2. Drank 10 glasses of water.
3. Ate breakfast.
4. Did my dishes.
5. Ate supper at the table.
6. Read for pleasure for 30 minutes.
And anything else I've done today that is an action step toward me becoming the balanced person I want to be. Ok, so I went looking for a notebook to track this thing in. The chances of finding a brand new one would be slim, but I thought I could find one that wasn't too full of insanity. Into the spare room and into some boxes I dove, discovering many notebooks with lists, and schedules, and interview notes, and story ideas, and plot outlines, and tarot readings, and journal entries, and drafts of letters, and doodlings, and much more . . . I spied a small yellow spiral notebook and flipped it open to find lots and lots of my neat printing, the kind I do when I'm taking serious notes I want to be able to decipher forever or even pass on to someone else to read, pages and pages and pages of the trying super hard to be neat blue ink. This was unusual for a couple of reasons. First it was the only thing in the book. There was no other scribbling or doodling or messy in the heat of the moment passionate notes to myself. And second, it went on for about half the notebook, or 100 pages! That's a long time for me to be focused and neat. What could I possibly have been so fixated on? And when did this happen?
I started reading. Stuff about stopping the guilt, loving yourself, writing letters to the universe, candle rituals, prayers for your health and healing, visualization techniques, cutting negative people out of your life, and many different daily affirmations and prayers. It ends with instructions on how to do a candle prayer-- "For nine nights, at precisely 9:00, light a candle and repeat: I am a blessed child of God. I am well. I am happy. Great abundance is on its way because, as God's child, I am empowered to create miracles."
And then I have my notes from the nights I did this prayer Feb 9-17, 2000. The notes are very specific, who I included in my prayers and what I was praying for them. Some excerpts:
Wed Feb 9/00 -- my brother, shield from negativity
Feb 10/00 -- Dad, to find his spirit; Me, patience
Feb 11/00 -- Me, patience, patience, patience, shield from negativity
Feb 12/00 -- my uncle, to pass to the other side
Feb 13/00 -- my ex-boyfriend to find acceptance & happiness
Feb 14/00 -- relief for all the people suffering on this earth
Feb 15/00 -- Me, get on the path, do better
Feb 16/00 -- Me, strength to fight the negative forces around me, patience, courage to live my life with joy and harmony and peace
Feb 17/00 -- Me, patience
I prayed for a lot of people. I prayed for friends and enemies and people I hadn't seen or heard tell of in many, many years. The lists are really long, and I didn't want to put it all out here. I remember this time in my life really well. This is when I first started to change my life. This is when I looked at how I was living and said I didn't want to continue the old patterns anymore and that I would break out of the mold and make changes. This is when I made the pact to myself that I would not move right into another relationship like I'd always done, but instead I'd take some time to be alone (which I'd never been since I was 14) and work on myself and my issues. Seven years ago!! And I haven't had a relationship since. Dates, but no boyfriend. Wow!
It's interesting now to read my prayers and to realize how very far I've come. I have patience now! Seven years worth! LOL! I have joy in my life like I'd never known at that time. I enjoy spending time with myself and understand that nobody else can complete me, I'm complete in myself. I know that I cannot control other people's actions only my reaction to them, and that people reveal themselves in the things they do, not by what they say. I have come such a very long way from the mixed up chaos and madness of that time.
So today I'm starting the 1000 Actions Challenge to help me with wellness and balance in my life. And I'm using my best handwriting and continuing right after those prayers from seven years ago. Because this is the right notebook for this journey.
Mood: inspired
Drinking: red wine
Listening To: trains, planes and automobiles
Hair: still unwashed
1. Joined the challenge.
2. Drank 10 glasses of water.
3. Ate breakfast.
4. Did my dishes.
5. Ate supper at the table.
6. Read for pleasure for 30 minutes.
And anything else I've done today that is an action step toward me becoming the balanced person I want to be. Ok, so I went looking for a notebook to track this thing in. The chances of finding a brand new one would be slim, but I thought I could find one that wasn't too full of insanity. Into the spare room and into some boxes I dove, discovering many notebooks with lists, and schedules, and interview notes, and story ideas, and plot outlines, and tarot readings, and journal entries, and drafts of letters, and doodlings, and much more . . . I spied a small yellow spiral notebook and flipped it open to find lots and lots of my neat printing, the kind I do when I'm taking serious notes I want to be able to decipher forever or even pass on to someone else to read, pages and pages and pages of the trying super hard to be neat blue ink. This was unusual for a couple of reasons. First it was the only thing in the book. There was no other scribbling or doodling or messy in the heat of the moment passionate notes to myself. And second, it went on for about half the notebook, or 100 pages! That's a long time for me to be focused and neat. What could I possibly have been so fixated on? And when did this happen?
I started reading. Stuff about stopping the guilt, loving yourself, writing letters to the universe, candle rituals, prayers for your health and healing, visualization techniques, cutting negative people out of your life, and many different daily affirmations and prayers. It ends with instructions on how to do a candle prayer-- "For nine nights, at precisely 9:00, light a candle and repeat: I am a blessed child of God. I am well. I am happy. Great abundance is on its way because, as God's child, I am empowered to create miracles."
And then I have my notes from the nights I did this prayer Feb 9-17, 2000. The notes are very specific, who I included in my prayers and what I was praying for them. Some excerpts:
Wed Feb 9/00 -- my brother, shield from negativity
Feb 10/00 -- Dad, to find his spirit; Me, patience
Feb 11/00 -- Me, patience, patience, patience, shield from negativity
Feb 12/00 -- my uncle, to pass to the other side
Feb 13/00 -- my ex-boyfriend to find acceptance & happiness
Feb 14/00 -- relief for all the people suffering on this earth
Feb 15/00 -- Me, get on the path, do better
Feb 16/00 -- Me, strength to fight the negative forces around me, patience, courage to live my life with joy and harmony and peace
Feb 17/00 -- Me, patience
I prayed for a lot of people. I prayed for friends and enemies and people I hadn't seen or heard tell of in many, many years. The lists are really long, and I didn't want to put it all out here. I remember this time in my life really well. This is when I first started to change my life. This is when I looked at how I was living and said I didn't want to continue the old patterns anymore and that I would break out of the mold and make changes. This is when I made the pact to myself that I would not move right into another relationship like I'd always done, but instead I'd take some time to be alone (which I'd never been since I was 14) and work on myself and my issues. Seven years ago!! And I haven't had a relationship since. Dates, but no boyfriend. Wow!
It's interesting now to read my prayers and to realize how very far I've come. I have patience now! Seven years worth! LOL! I have joy in my life like I'd never known at that time. I enjoy spending time with myself and understand that nobody else can complete me, I'm complete in myself. I know that I cannot control other people's actions only my reaction to them, and that people reveal themselves in the things they do, not by what they say. I have come such a very long way from the mixed up chaos and madness of that time.
So today I'm starting the 1000 Actions Challenge to help me with wellness and balance in my life. And I'm using my best handwriting and continuing right after those prayers from seven years ago. Because this is the right notebook for this journey.
Mood: inspired
Drinking: red wine
Listening To: trains, planes and automobiles
Hair: still unwashed
Friday, May 25, 2007
Living with Purpose
Mood: motivated
Drinking: water & coffee . . . and Hardy's red later!!
Listening To: birds chirping!
Hair: still pulled back, but soon to be laundered
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Opportunity Knocks
This morning my feet hit the floor at 6am again in one swift motion with the act of turning the alarm clock off. And did I EVER want to go back to bed! Oy! I was so groggy I had to read my checklist to see what I was supposed to say and do next, lol. I teetered on the edge of the bed for a good 30 seconds staring longingly at my pillow. But then I said to myself, "You'll be fine once you're up and around. Just do it!" And I did. And I was. And when I smiled in the mirror and declared the day was mine, I felt it!
Yesterday started off strongly enough, but got off-track around noon and didn't really make a comeback after that. I mean I still got a lot done, hell, I even exercised! But some important things (there are some very, very important things) didn't get done. That's not going to happen today! Today I am focused and determined to get as much done as I possibly can. This day is really mine!
I think I've mentioned that I've started devoting about a half hour each day to life lessons, working on my toolbox for living, my life skills. That's where the morning exercise came from. I am very determined to evolve into that person I've always wanted to be. And this is part of the journey. One thing in particular that I am working on is becoming a person of action, leaving my procrastinating self in the dust. It's difficult. Yesterday I might even have said it's a problem. Yesterday I probably would have said I'm having a situation. But today I'm striking the word "problem" from my vocabulary. A problem is something you can't do anything about. It's a brick wall you can't go through, around, over or under. I don't have a problem with procrastination.
What I do have is an opportunity to take control of my projects, to be a leader and an example to others, to be successful in every aspect of my life, to fill myself with the satisfaction of having reached my goals and to energize my life with the excitement of always pursuing new dreams and goals. My life is full of opportunities! And that's pretty exciting stuff!
Mood: motivated
Drinking: water, fresh ground java with a splash of skim
Listening To: revving engines somewhere nearby
Hair: headbanded in blue speckled elastic
Yesterday started off strongly enough, but got off-track around noon and didn't really make a comeback after that. I mean I still got a lot done, hell, I even exercised! But some important things (there are some very, very important things) didn't get done. That's not going to happen today! Today I am focused and determined to get as much done as I possibly can. This day is really mine!
I think I've mentioned that I've started devoting about a half hour each day to life lessons, working on my toolbox for living, my life skills. That's where the morning exercise came from. I am very determined to evolve into that person I've always wanted to be. And this is part of the journey. One thing in particular that I am working on is becoming a person of action, leaving my procrastinating self in the dust. It's difficult. Yesterday I might even have said it's a problem. Yesterday I probably would have said I'm having a situation. But today I'm striking the word "problem" from my vocabulary. A problem is something you can't do anything about. It's a brick wall you can't go through, around, over or under. I don't have a problem with procrastination.
What I do have is an opportunity to take control of my projects, to be a leader and an example to others, to be successful in every aspect of my life, to fill myself with the satisfaction of having reached my goals and to energize my life with the excitement of always pursuing new dreams and goals. My life is full of opportunities! And that's pretty exciting stuff!
Mood: motivated
Drinking: water, fresh ground java with a splash of skim
Listening To: revving engines somewhere nearby
Hair: headbanded in blue speckled elastic
Sunday, May 13, 2007
MindStorming (20 Ideas)
What can I do to reach my target weight within one year?
1. Drink at least 8 glasses of water every day.
2. Eat 1200-1550 calories everyday.
3. Go for a walk everyday.
4. Strength exercise at least three times per week.
5. Sleep 8 hours per night.
6. Meditate every day.
7. Listen to motivational messages every day.
8. Track my progress by weight and inches weekly.
9. Go dancing once a week.
10. Buy more fruit, green leafy vegetables, lean meats, and whole grains.
11. Take up a recreational sport like curling and/or tennis.
12. Buy a bicycle and use it to attend meetings/got to the office/run errands/go shopping in Douglastown and Chatham.
13. Join a gym.
14. Eat only Mango approved meals at restaurants.
15. Drink decaf coffee only.
16. Take classes like pilates, tai chi, and yoga.
17. Take the time to plan your week and follow the plan.
18. Eat all my meals at a table, sitting down.
19. Make a motivational dream board.
20. Listen to a get up and go song everyday.
It's tougher than it looks to come up with 20 responses! Ok, so you can use this exercise to help you reach any goal you want. Want more money, ask yourself What can I do to double my income within the next year? And then list 20 things you can do to make this happen. Want to find the love of your life, ask yourself, What can I do to meet more men? Or define it further, What can I do to meet a man aged 30-45, over 5'9 inches tall, gainfully employed, who doesn't have any children, doesn't want any children, loves wine, books and camping? Then list 20 things you can do. Once you have your list, pick one item off it and focus on doing it. When you've conquered that item, pick another and get it done, and so on and so on, until . . . BAM! I've reached my target weight! You've doubled your income! And we've all found the partners of our dreams!
How cool is that?! :-D
Happy Mother's Day! All you Mommies in blogland!
Mood: chip, chip, chip, chipper!
Drinking: water
Listening To: requiem, mozart
Hair: headbanded
1. Drink at least 8 glasses of water every day.
2. Eat 1200-1550 calories everyday.
3. Go for a walk everyday.
4. Strength exercise at least three times per week.
5. Sleep 8 hours per night.
6. Meditate every day.
7. Listen to motivational messages every day.
8. Track my progress by weight and inches weekly.
9. Go dancing once a week.
10. Buy more fruit, green leafy vegetables, lean meats, and whole grains.
11. Take up a recreational sport like curling and/or tennis.
12. Buy a bicycle and use it to attend meetings/got to the office/run errands/go shopping in Douglastown and Chatham.
13. Join a gym.
14. Eat only Mango approved meals at restaurants.
15. Drink decaf coffee only.
16. Take classes like pilates, tai chi, and yoga.
17. Take the time to plan your week and follow the plan.
18. Eat all my meals at a table, sitting down.
19. Make a motivational dream board.
20. Listen to a get up and go song everyday.
It's tougher than it looks to come up with 20 responses! Ok, so you can use this exercise to help you reach any goal you want. Want more money, ask yourself What can I do to double my income within the next year? And then list 20 things you can do to make this happen. Want to find the love of your life, ask yourself, What can I do to meet more men? Or define it further, What can I do to meet a man aged 30-45, over 5'9 inches tall, gainfully employed, who doesn't have any children, doesn't want any children, loves wine, books and camping? Then list 20 things you can do. Once you have your list, pick one item off it and focus on doing it. When you've conquered that item, pick another and get it done, and so on and so on, until . . . BAM! I've reached my target weight! You've doubled your income! And we've all found the partners of our dreams!
How cool is that?! :-D
Happy Mother's Day! All you Mommies in blogland!
Mood: chip, chip, chip, chipper!
Drinking: water
Listening To: requiem, mozart
Hair: headbanded
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