The More You See, The Less You Know

Oh you look so beautiful tonight, in the city of blinding lights ...

Well here I am on a sunny Monday morning. I wish I could say I was early to bed, early to rise, but no such luck. No rest for the wicked. I guess I slept too much on the weekend. I did spend most of the day Saturday and Sunday either lounging or sleeping as I didn't feel very well. This translated into a restless Sunday night of trying to sleep, given up as hopeless by 5am this morning. I feel surprisingly well rested and alert for someone who's been up all night. But the big question is, will I be able to handle the gym on no sleep? Today is only upper body which is never as brutal as lower so perhaps it's possible.

Last week was a crazy run-around week for me.

Wednesday I went to the office for a BnM meeting and then met up with the girls for Chinese buffet supper at the Rice King restaurant in Douglastown. I've only ever eaten there at lunch time. It seems a little pricey for supper in comparison to the other buffets in town ... but I guess you get dessert so maybe it's fine. We got there late and I barely had time to taste my food, let alone digest, before we had to get to the theatre for the movie so I didn't get to enjoy supper much. We saw Mama Mia! And I loved, loved, loved it! I could have walked right back in and watched it again at the late showing. Pierce shouldn't sing, but he's gorgeous so he's forgiven. I even cried. And I never cry in the theatre.

Thursday I met a friend for lunch and had a great chat for a couple of hours about everything under the sun including writerly type stuff and more. Definitely need to do that again! It's so refreshing to have someone else, single, in her 30s, going through the whole dating madness, to talk with. God, I needed that!

Thursday night because it was the last time for The Dark Knight to be shown at our theatre, Stacy and I made a spontaneous decision to go to the movies for the second night in a row. This time we had no time for supper so we munched out on popcorn and nachos and chocolate and all kinds of junk. I loved the movie! The best Batman movie ever, in my opinion. And I really enjoyed the last one because of my boy Cillian, of course. I've never been big on the Michael Keaton ones to begin with, so I'm all about Christian Bale. I just like him. He's a good Batman. But Heath! OMG! He was such a great Joker. Better than Jack. It's such a sin that he's gone and won't be able to do more.

Friday night I went to the Napan Fair with the family and children. It was wet. There were flies. No really, there were FLIES! Like thousands of them! Houseflies, not black flies. It's because of the horses and livestock, but still ... there's something unsettling about bags of cotton candy covered with houseflies. Needless to say any urge I had for a candy apple didn't last long. I was covered to my knees in mud. Very reminiscent of the long weekend family reunion. And my feet are still cold. As if the flies and soggy ground weren't enough, it actually piss-poured rain and I didn't get to enjoy any of the events in the ring other than some border collies herding sheep and ducks and jumping through hoops. My aunt's event was postponed until the following day. So I pretty much ruined my sandals and got all wet for ... the ability to say I've been ... without actually seeing anything. I would go again next year, but only in good weather.

I'm going to Fredericton next month to participate in a Small Press Fair. It's the same weekend as the Side by Side literary festival so I'm going to take in some events for that too. And this weekend I also noticed that same weekend is TNB's midnight production of Rocky Horror, so I got tickets! I'm psyched about it! Makes for a busy weekend, not a lot of sleep, but I think it'll be something to experience for sure. I'd been debating whether to go or not, but since I'm going to be in town anyway, that just sealed the deal for me.

Yesterday, I got invited to an authentic Cajun feast happening next month too. Someone from Louisiana who I've only met through email and has written about Mardi Gras and Hurricane Katrina for BnM is coming to the Miramichi to visit. I'm excited to meet him after all these years and happy to have been invited to the dinner he's preparing. Should make for an interesting evening for sure.

And now I should stog some protein down my throat and try to make my way to the gym.

Mood: getting a little foggy
Drinking: coffee, black, cold
Listening To: email dinging into my inbox
Hair: laundered and wild

Summertime

You make me feel something like summertime
Top down ain't nothing but time
Radio's on and you're by my side
Feels something like summertime
Like that first slow dance and that first long kiss
There ain't nothing baby better then this
It's like a beach blanket and a bottle of wine
It feels something like summertime
Summertime
-- Bon Jovi

You know the weather so far this summer absolutely totally blows, sucks lemons big style. Nothing but rain and clouds and thunder and lightning and more rain and clouds and humidity and wind and on and on and on. Blech! BUT (and that's a big but) it honestly doesn't seem to make a freaking difference. I'm having a great summer so far! And everyone I know seems also to be having a great summer. Why is that? I can't speak for anyone else, but yesterday John Mayer blogged about this summer. And he nailed it:

My point is that whenever that someday comes, when I slide into the MRI scanner and the thing starts spinning up, spitting lasers and screaming into my ears, I may very well say to myself "I wish I had just one more of those summers."

I don't care if it rains every day all summer long, I'm going to have a great one, because I'm young and healthy and I love my life. I love my family, my friends, my work, my home, everything. Life is fabulous!

***

I had a great weekend. Saturday evening Stacy arrived at my house for a sleepover. We don't do this very often. We always say we're going to do stuff, go places, but we seldom seem to bring the plans into action. So we were excited! We went to Jungle Jim's (hadn't been in eons) and had chicken quesadillas then booted across the street to the movie theatre and the early showing of Wanted. Loved it! Go see this movie! Angelina kicks some serious ass in this one. And James McAvoy ... oh boy! He's a cutie! I really enjoyed it.

After the movie we went to the liquor store and bought some refreshments then headed back to my place to have a drink and abandon the car. We cabbed to Chatham just in time to catch the Sail Past of Lights, which was pretty disappointing at only three boats. But lots of people out and about on the Green. Water Street was blocked off for a street dance and there were vendors selling food and drinks. Echo was playing and they weren't bad. When we first arrived I thought the band might have been a John Fogerty/CCR tribute band, but they soon moved on to other types of music even the Scissor Sisters.

We travelled around there for a bit and then went to O'Donaghue's Pub. By the time we arrived, it was a little later and the place was packed with a line outside waiting to get in. Not having any other plan we decided to wait it out, and 25-30 minutes later we were in. The house band Mooseknuckle were playing. They're pretty good, entertaining. We had a good time. Lots of laughs.

Stayed til closing and made it home in one piece though in a round about "dropping off everyone and their dog first" way.

I had a hang-over Sunday morning, which I didn't really understand because I didn't seem to drink all that much (yet I did seem to be quite drunk). I guess I had one of those night's where I'm an easy drunk ... or else one of the bachelor party guys tried to eff me up by slipping me something ... nah, I was just an easy drunk. I could feel it right off the first glass of wine at Jungle Jim's.

Anyway, I was totally hung-over Sunday morning and Stacy had not put in a very good night either, so we got dressed and ventured out for breakfast. We decided to try Mike's Bar & Grill because they advertised an all-day Saturday and Sunday big breakfast special. It is a big breakfast. It comes on two plates, one with pancakes, the other with eggs, baked beans, deep fried potatoes, toast, and choice of bacon, ham or sausage (we had bacon). The pancakes were pretty tasty. My beans were ice cold. The bacon was too smoky. The potatoes were overcooked. The place was dark and dreary. The music was an all love songs all the time satellite radio station (think Jim Croce's Time in a Bottle followed by The Carpenters We've Only Just Begun). The waitress appeared to have never worked in food service before, though I'm sure she's a lovely bartender.

In other words, this is the place where people go to die. Seriously. Feeling suicidal? Not sure whether you can pull the trigger or not? Go to this place, have a drink, and by the time you leave you'll be so depressed you'll likely forget about the gun completely and just rush right out into the street in front of the next big transport truck passing by. I'm not kidding. We did not stay long. We did not eat much.

After breakfast we went to SuperValu where everyone and their dog apparently had gathered for some Sunday afternoon shopping therapy. Then Stacy dropped me off and headed home.

The black screen of death greeted me when I booted up my computer. "Oh God! Not again!" I cried. I crossed my fingers as I waited for the computer to go through it's little corruption check while I hoped the O/S would catch and start, not shut-down. Ten minutes later it started up. Whew! Narrow escape. But yeah, it might last another year or it might not start up the next time I turn it on, so I immediately took some time to get my affairs in order and backed up my work onto disc. My inbox has 0 messages currently. To be fair it only had 14 or so yesterday, but there were some important ones that would have been a bad loss. I have been doing a decent job of dealing as things arrive. Now the thing can die and I won't lose anything.

I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening lying on my futon draped in my fuzzy blanket and watching episodes of Mad Men and Swingtown. I really enjoyed the first season of Mad Men and can't wait for the second. I watched a few episodes of Swingtown and it seems really good too. Check them out, if you haven't.

Mood: scattered
Drinking: coffee
Listening To: me, typing
Hair: dirty

First We Take ...

Last night's birthday celebration turned into Kellie's Pub Crawl 2008. Me, my sister (and DD), and two friends I haven't seen in awhile and always enjoy hanging out with. We started at Boston Pizza with BIG salads and desserts. And drinks (at least for me ... one Cosmo, a glass of red, and a Spanish coffee). Unfortunately the patio wasn't open but that was okay. Our waitress screwed up the bills a whopping three times which was freaking hilarious.

After dinner we crossed the bridge to Chatham and O'Donaghue's Irish Pub. There wasn't much going on there so early, and we had already eaten so we just stayed for one drink (a red wine for me) and headed back to Newcastle having made plans to return later in the month when Jake Stewart is playing there.

Two of our party had never been to the Black Horse Tavern before in the Miramichi Hotel, so we hit it up next. Two glasses of beer for $2.50. Dirty men groaning and smacking their lips at us when we crossed the floor. We played pool and laughed and danced to old songs on the jukebox. Fun times!

After our excursion into the Black Horse we went down the street to the Boulevard Pub. It seemed to be having a bit of an off night or something. The music was too loud, a big screen tv showing golf overpowered the room. I've been in there during the day before, and it definitely seems nicer during the light of day or something. Plus I made the mistake of ordering the house wine, Piat D'or (which I loathe) out of a box (which is rarely drinkable). They do have some lovely wines there, including Wolf Blass Yellow Label, so it wasn't their fault I should have ordered better. The washrooms were really nice and clean though as I took my first and only pee break of the evening causing one of our party to exclaim, "How can you drink so much and pee so little?!" It is a gift. Once upon a time though I would go the whole night without venturing into the public washroom. Just saying.

The night was getting on and we still hadn't found a crowd or anything much exciting (not counting the Black Horse experience) so we left The Boulevard seeking our last stop of the evening ending up at Jack's Oasis Pub. There was a band finishing up a set as we entered and sat at what has to be the widest table ever to find a home in a bar. We marvelled at the old man levitating across the way and I ordered a drink called a Porn Star that tasted like blue Mr. Freezies and the bartender told me was her specialty. It was pretty good but I downed it fast so we could get the hell out of there.

By then I was ready for ice cream and home, so one quick Ben and Jerry's stop later I found myself sprawled on the futon watching The Darjeeling Limited. I watched about 45 minutes before I fell asleep and woke cold and cramped at 5am when buddy upstairs finally stumbled home (without his truck again) from where ever he had been playing poker and/or getting laid. While he clumped around upstairs I made my way to the spare room and crashed for another 5 hours or so.

I can't remember the last time I pub crawled ... if ever. It was an interesting and fun way to celebrate my birthday. Thanks girls! I had a great time.

Mood: i couldn't say ... someone has stolen my mood ring
Drinking: coffee, black, perked
Listening To: lawnmowers and seagulls
Hair: approaching critical thickness

Just Like Riding a Bicycle

The last time I came to Toronto was January 2006. It was a mild winter, no snow, no winter jackets or boots required, we roamed the streets in light spring jackets. I hadn't been back to the city since I left my great job and my boyfriend in a burned out state of meltdown at least a decade earlier. A lot had changed. A lot hadn't. Stacy and I went nuts hitting all the touristy type restaurants and filling our days with activities. By the end of that trip I returned home having had a great time but feeling dead certain that I would never want to live here again, that I could never integrate myself into this lifestyle again. So it's strange to find myself on the morning of my last day feeling a little wistful about leaving. I think I have fallen back in love with this city. It will be interesting to see how I feel as we fly away, back in Moncton, at my apartment. But one thing is for certain, I need to come to Toronto more often.

On Saturday afternoon I ventured out to Etobicoke to visit with the Hetheringtons. I saw some old friends and I met some new ones. I drank more beer than I've had since the days of the Power Track. I stayed up really late talking into the wee hours. And then I slept in the little room upstairs and remembered the night I slept there with Kevin and watched Thurman peeking in to see who was with his son. I got up before everyone else, made coffee, let the cats outside and looked around at all the pictures on the walls and mantles, some I remembered because they were old, some I knew nothing about because they happened after my time. Isabel got up first and we sat and talked. MB got up just as I was thinking I should head out and I set a course in my head. I left with hugs and a good feeling.

My body seemed to go on auto-pilot as I walked down Foch to Woodbury where I used to live. I looked down the block to see if I could see anything familiar about the old apartment, but there was nothing to see. I walked out Woodbury to Brown's Line where the crosswalk has gotten a whole lot more complicated and Pizza Pizza is now a Subway with a Dunkin' Donuts on the opposite corner. I crossed to the bus stop and waited. They told me all the buses go to the subway now, I could get on anyone that came. I thought I'd have to wait a really long time because it was Sunday, but it wasn't long at all. The bus was called Shorncliffe, which was a new route for me. The buses are more sophisticated now with a recorded voice announcing the stops and a screen displaying which one is next. We went to Kipling Station. Back in the day we always went to Islington instead. But I'd been to Kipling a lot of times when I would take a taxi home or Kev would pick me up at the kiss 'n ride. On the subway I studied the route map and decided to get off at Bathurst and see about catching a bus north to St. Clair W. Just missed a bus, so we had to wait. I confirmed with another passenger that the bus would definitely go where I needed it to go. They're doing a lot of construction on Bathurst, so the bus detoured, going west on Dupont to Christie and then north to St. Clair. I got off on the corner of Christie and St. Clair, crossed the street and started walking east reading the sign posts at streets to see if I could find Wychwood. Easily done. A couple of blocks later and I arrived back at Taia and Ian's just as they were leaving for Mad's piano recital.

I showered and changed and went out to sit in the shade in the backyard and read a book. They came back about an hour later and we went to see a movie at a theatre in Yorkville. We tried to get VIP seating, which costs a lot more, but you get a nice seat with a table and staff serve you your popcorn at your seat. It's a limited group too, but unfortunately they don't have VIP seating for kids, because I guess not all children are as well behaved as Madeleine. Regular seating was fine, roomier than the Empire Theatre at home and better spaced it seemed. I got nachos at the concessions, which were huge in comparison to the ones at home and a huge diet coke, which I totally needed (and consumed) because of the 20 beer from the night before. We saw the new Indiana Jones movie. It was okay. I have the urge now to revisit the first one. I enjoy Shia always, so it was interesting to see him in this kind of role. They lightened his hair and gave him a James Dean type of do. There were many parts where you completely had to forget everything you know about physics and common sense in order to buy into the story, but I guess that's probably standard on the Indy films.

After the movie we went home and barbecued hamburgers and grilled potatoes. Yummy! Mad and I played games while we waited for dinner to be done. Then we made ice cream in this contraption that fascinated me. It is like a manual ice cream machine, you can take camping or anywhere. We rolled it around the floor playing catch to mix the ingredients. It was ready in an hour and it tasted really good. After Mad went to bed Taia and I sat and talked for a bit, then I read, and then I went to bed, I thought pretty early but it was going on 11. I stayed in bed this morning a little later than normal, which might have been a mistake considering I have to get up really early tomorrow to go to the airport.

Today I'm going to the taping of The Hour at CBC. They changed the time until earlier so now I have to go on my own as Taia can't get off work. But that's okay. It'll still be fun. It's Strombo for godsake! On the website it says the guests on the show tonight are Salman Rushdie and Brian Dennehy, so maybe that's who I'll be seeing. Or one or the other if an interview was pre-taped.

And now I'm tired of typing and starting to think about other things. My next blog will be from NB.

Mood: calm
Drinking: nothing, but coffee earlier
Listening To: birds chirping outside
Hair: greasy from humidity

I am a Passenger

Watched a good documentary last night about the birth and evolution of punk rock. I was born just a bit too late, so I didn't get into Iggy Pop, The Sex Pistols, The Clash or even The Ramones until way after the fact. I'm trying to think of who put me onto them but I don't know, I think I just discovered them on my own. The only boyfriend who would have leaned that way at all would have been K and he was more Zeppelin and Hendrix, Supertramp and Bowie. MB had a copy of the movie Sid & Nancy but it seemed like she knew somebody who had been in it or something, not that she was a big Sid Vicious fan. Anyway, it was a good documentary. Dad didn't appreciate it! :-) But I found it interesting.

So I spent the weekend upriver. Went to a friends place Friday night, where I drank WAY too much wine . . . like WAY. I can't remember the last time I drank that much. It's been a long time. And it'll be a long time before I do it again. A glass or two is freaking plenty. I felt a little shaky all day Saturday. Had a good time though, well other than having to call 911 in the wee hours and having the ambulance come. But even that was a bit of an adventure, certainly another story to add our collection. But you know the party is over when the 911 call goes out. Luckily, nobody was seriously hurt. So now we can look back on it and laugh.

Saturday I just lazed around all day, nursing a hang-over. Watched movies with Dad. I actually got him to sit through Clerks II. He thought it was the stupidest movie ever, but he didn't get up and leave and he laughed quite a bit, so . . . there you go. We also watched White Oleander. Dad taped that one off PVR and I had never seen it, though I read the book. It wasn't bad.

Sunday was Nick's bath day. It went okay. He did not want to get into the tub, but he stayed there once I picked him up and put him in. He whined and trembled the whole time, but afterward he felt great, crazy frisky, and he certainly smelled better. Mom's gonna try to clip him more now and in about 6 weeks time or so I'll bath him again. The beast just has so much freaking hair. Next time I'll try to do it outside. He can't come live with me, so it's important to keep him in Mom's good graces . . . she sometimes threatens to put him to sleep :-(

So it was a pretty good weekend overall. Time to settle in and get back to work now.

Mood: sleepy
Drinking: coffee, black
Listening To: come sail away, styx
Hair: un-everything

London Calling

The ice age is coming, the sun's zooming in
Meltdown expected, the wheat is growing thin
Engines stop running, but I have no fear
Cause London is drowning and I, live by the river

A little Clash to get things going. I love living by the river. How about that lunar eclipse last night? I had an amazing view from my windows, without having to go outside and freeze. I sat in the picture window with my binoculars. It was very pretty by times.

Yesterday was a full busy day, lots of company. I walked down to the post office and Sobey's. It was a helluva lot colder outside than what my sunshiny apartment indicated. I had the heat turned off, the front windows open, and still the sweat was running down my back. So, I wasn't prepared for the wind chill of it all. Brrr!

Had a nice lunch with my friend. Talked about writing and upcoming writerly events we're planning. It's always so good to get together. Recharges the creativity for sure.

Later, in the evening, Lee & Charlotte came down for a bit to get some cds burned and have a little tarot reading. Funny, I've been thinking about tarot for about a week now, then at lunch yesterday we were just talking about doing our cards, and then out of the blue I get a request and out come the cards. Charlotte's cards are always good. I didn't do mine though.

Stacy dropped by much later to bring me some magazines and mail I got at the office. So then we chatted for a bit, catching up. Big Brother kinda sounds whacked this year! I haven't been watching.

I exercised in the moonlight after she left, for about 20 minutes or so, then watched the eclipse for awhile, then caught the last bit of The Hour, where they went to Coronation Street, fell asleep during Arrested Development, woke at 5:30 but didn't get up. The moon takes a lot out of me. Dream-wise. So I was stuck in some dreams and generally feeling like the truck had run over me. I'm looking forward to the weekend, seeing my dog, going to dinner theatre, making Jerk Chicken nachos, Oscars, catching up with Corrie and all that.

But first, I've got a crap load of stuff to do.

Mood: a little foggy
Drinking: coffee
Listening To: it's raining again, supertramp
Hair: closer to the razor every passing day

Happy Christmas!

I'm so over Merry y'all. It's days past the big day and I'm just getting into it. Well, maybe I'm not getting into the Christmas thing at all, just the New Year thing, but no matter my belly is fluttery with butterflies and I'm excited about life! Maybe this is just because I seemed to sleep a bit better last night and the mucus in my throat has dissipated somewhat. But who cares! I'm excited about the day! It's snowing! Like big ass flakes!

Last night Stacy and I exchanged our Christmas gifts. As usual I felt like I didn't get her nearly enough, but mine was the gift that if properly executed will just keep on giving throughout the year, so maybe that compensates. As usual she got me everything I wanted and more! Bakeware! A set of six pieces, that is like earthenware that you can go from oven to table. Just makes ya want to bake beans and make a lasagna! They're brown (very earthy and good!) and the set includes a rectangle piece, a square pan, a round pot with cover (for the beans don't ya know!) and two smaller round ones (are they called ramekins?). Very excited about it!

That on its own was enough, but the giving continued. She also got me a mug made by an NB potter named Babineau. It's lovely and big, which is how I like them and unique in that the base of the mug is pinched, good for picking up by the base instead of the handle. Good grip. The base is light coloured, plain, and it's trimmed in green tones. Kinda rough and imperfect, not too much glaze, which is exactly what I like so well.

And now you're thinking surely that's all, but nooooo, she also got me two gift sets one from St.Ives and the other from The Healing Garden Organics (Fig and Lavender!), which are both things I love but other than the St. Ives apricot facial scrub (which I just ran out of and needed some more) I never buy for myself.

Another gift was the Sentimento Latino wall calendar featuring artwork by Antonio Broccoli Porto, which has some very interesting and lovely paintings in it. Fabulous! There was also a dayplanner for 2008, a tin of Timothy's Coffee of the World White Hot Chocolate, which I'm dying to try, and two body bars from the Method line (which is natural, organic, etc.) The bars are called pure minimalist, which we all know suits me pretty well, lol. Oh and I nearly forgot! (Because I've nearly eaten them all) A box of homemade chocolate truffles! Oh boy! They are yummy!

So we had a great time exchanging gifts and catching up. Part of my gift to her involves our blogs. The theme of my gift was Wellness and Accountability. Basically her and my wellness, us being accountable to one another. It's kind of a gift to both of us. I promise to be all up in her face every day and this will help both of us. I wrote her three notes on postcards of different women. One said that we would each write three wellness (mind, body, spirit) goals for 2008 and post them on our blogs for the world to see (and thereby hold us accountable to achieve them). Another said that beginning in the New Year the first email I send every day will be to her, telling her how many steps I took the day before and asking for her numbers (we both have pedometers). And the third card said that we would begin the year with a cleansing detox diet for seven days. I emailed her the instructions for that one this morning. My gift included Sobeys gift cards to buy the fresh produce for the cleanse. I also gave her a Women's Day Planner, a time management course with cd, a book on emotional health and two planters. So yeah, totally doesn't seem like I got her very much in comparison. I need to be extra diligent in my bugging her to keep stepping.

Today I'm expecting more company. A friend is coming to stay the night. Girl talk!! Yay! Hopefully, the snow will not ruin our plans. Fingers crossed.

Mood: happy
Drinking: coffee, instant, black
Listening To: the fridge hum (it seems excessively loud these past few days)
Hair: forgotten and neglected

Right Next to the Right One

Yeah, I'm listening to Celine. Go figure. Well, here we are, heading into insanity. No turning back now. This evening Stacy and I went grocery and liquor store shopping, then back to my place for a way late supper and wrapping gifts for the family we've sponsored at work. Tomorrow morning we're going to deliver them. Tomorrow night me and Stace had thought maybe we'd exchange our gifts but now I think we're going to hold off until next week. After the holiday rush. Something for later. Friday the crush begins in earnest for me. I'm going to the office to work. We're going to knock off early and dig into a bottle of wine or two, the bulging beer fridge, enjoy some spirits. Then me and Stacy head off to Barnbonia for the Tea House staff party, followed directly by a road trip to the rip roaring rapids for a house party. I'll stay all night at the folks, return to town on Saturday, where I'll try to make sure everything is prepped for a longer stay upriver. Take care of the last minute shopping and housework, etc. It's possible I'll be nursing a hangover. With any luck I will be completely recovered and relaxed by Sunday's big adventure with CMC, definitely lunch, maybe a ball game, who knows what else? Anything is possible. Conversation lasting into the wee hours, fits of giggles, holding hands . . . I have a good feeling about this one. But a new adventure is always exciting. Monday I pack up and leave for a couple of days at the folks. I am now leaning toward making the jerk chicken nachos for the xmas eve festivities, purchased some fixings this evening including the frigging Maple Leaf Prime boneless skinless chicken breasts! That's some damn fine chicken! It's funny, at the store all I wanted to buy was stuff that needed no prep, like pudding and microwave dinners, you know quick stuff, open the package shove the food in your mouth. I don't know why I always fall out of love with food this time of year. I crave nothing. I'm ho-hum about everything. It's weird. I'm doing a 7-day toxin cleanse after the holidays, maybe that'll bring some spunk back into my taste buds. No caffeine. No alcohol. No chemicals. Nothing unnatural. Should be interesting. Need to spend the couple of days I'm in Barnbonia visiting. Then back home on Boxing Day, where life should return to normal unless people visit me, which I'm hoping some will. No plans for New Year's Eve yet. I may bring it in on my own terms. I'm due, I think. We'll see if anything more interesting presents itself. And so ends this eve's ramble.

Mood: sleepy now
Drinking: california cabernet sauvignon
Listening To: harvest moon, neil young
Hair: messy

Return to Oz

Like the phoenix from the ashes . . . blah, blah, blah, lets not go cliche crazy. I'm alive, nuff said.

We're in BnM production. Yes, again, so soon. June was late, August is almost kinda sorta early, which is to say, right on time. And I am all over October. I don't know, could it be after a year of this, I'm getting into the groove? August was painless, no blood, very little sweat, zero tears. It doesn't seem right. Of course, my house looks like a bomb went off and I'm completely off all my personal development stuff and I'm completely blowing off the half dozen guys chatting me up for dates and I'm working till 3am and sleeping in past 6am . . . oh god, it's hot, eh? Sweltering like in my place. All I want to do is eat fruit and drink chilled wine and water. But the wine gives me an instant headache in this weather. So, I'm sucking back water.

I was really sick all last weekend. Dead knackered come Monday morning. Feeling much better heading into this weekend. My last home for a bit as I head upriver for family events and a bit of house/kitty sitting. Going to a bbq tomorrow afternoon. Looking forward to it, think it will be fun. Heading to Kouchibouac on Saturday. Should be a good weekend. NO WORK!! Seriously, none. No computer only for fun stuff like watching Big Brother or the Sopranos or listening to tunes etc. It's a NO WORK WEEKEND! For real. And I can! Because as I've already said, we're on time.

Got tix to see Matt Mays at Harvest Jazz fest in Sept. He doesn't come on til after midnite. Staying over at a b and b. Should be a lot of fun. An opportunity to wear my new shoes! Perhaps.

I feel like I'm all over the place here. Scattered. Brain is a bit fuzzed for sure. I watched the first season of Dirt from F/X with Courtenay Cox. LOVE IT!! Can't wait for the second season! Watch this show! It's good. Watched Evan Almighty. I actually liked it better than the original Bruce Almighty. I liked it a lot more than The 40-year-old Virgin. Maybe because I didn't like either of those things so I had below zero expectations it made the movie easier to like . . . or something. Anyway, bic runga started to get into my head. Time to get myself into bed.

Mood: moodless
Drinking: water, both red and white wine earlier
Listening To: sway, bic runga
Hair: strands beginning to escape from this evening's severe ponytail

Got It Going On

So Bon Jovi made a country album. Yeah. I'm not even kidding. I bought it. Complete with steel guitar and LeeAnn Rimes. Seriously. So, nothing really grabbed me first play. You know I am not a fan of country music. But IT IS Jon Bon . . . so on second playing, there are a few tracks starting to grow on me. I'm curious about how these songs are gonna fit into their regular tour though. I can't imagine You Give Love a Bad Name following any of these songs . . . unless they rock them up. Curious. Very very curious.

Company coming for the weekend! And I'm excited! Trying to work and clean house at the same time. Guest won't arrive until later this evening after supper, so there's still time to get my shit together. Bringing a dog! Yeah. To my building. Apparently the beastie is well-trained and doesn't bark inside. Which is not to say Nick will be coming to live with his Mama anytime soon. But still. A little furball will be nice to have around. Shouldn't get me evicted. I swear I hear critters visiting people overhead . . . and I'm not talking about just the screaming girls. Hopefully we get some sunshine this weekend so Miramichi makes a good first impression, BOTH sides of the river :-)

Mood: chipper
Drinking: coffee, black
Listening To: summertime, bon jovi
Hair: pulled back, pushed up, and contemplating a summer change

Walk Away Kel

I nearly pissed myself laughing last night. I've started listening to Podcasts while I have dinner. It helps to kill two birds with one stone. First, it keeps me from popping in a DVD and mindlessly vegging in front of the TV for two hours while I eat. Eating at the table in the dining room keeps me focused. And two, I get to actually listen to all these great Podcasts I subscribe to on iTunes without making me feel like I'm wasting time and being unproductive. I subscribe to about a half dozen, including about three from CBC Radio about books, authors, and writing, one from CBC Televison, YouTube, Tom Green (yeah, I can't help myself), but my absolute favourite is Smodcast with Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier. If you have never listened to this, you just have to, I dare you not to laugh. Yesterday's episode had a special guest host with Kevin Smith because Scott Mosier's dog died (so sad :-( I feel for him) and was taped on the east coast in Jersey because Kevin was on the road. They spent the whole hour pretty much talking about this gigantic flea market they went to. I snorted water up my nose a couple of times. They should issue a "Warning: Not to be consumed when consuming anything else" label on that. It's some freaking crazy stuff. Anyway, I'm NOT going to tell you anything about it, other than you need to look that stuff up and give it a listen.

Walk weekend is rapidly approaching. I think it's going to be a good experience. I'm looking forward to going to Moncton and spending some time with the kids. I'm not looking forward to trying to eat healthy and balanced while living in a hotel on a Mountain Road . . . but we'll see how I do with that. Hopefully, I'll find alternatives and not end up feeling crappy and lackluster. There are nearly 700 calories in a small peanut butter cup Blizzard. Think about that. I've much work to accomplish before I can mentally be prepared to leave for the weekend. But I'm working away at it diligently. Consistency is my new favourite word. Yesterday I cracked 2,000 words on a story, a personal record for me. That's one story. THE story. That doesn't include all the other crap I write on a daily basis. I never count any of that stuff. I never count this blog. I should though. Because sometimes I blog good stuff. Not today, perhaps. But sometimes. But when I think about the act of committing anywhere from 1,000-2,000 focused words per day, EVERY day, consistently . . . the possibilities blow my mind. Maybe there's hope of me evolving into a "real" writer yet. I'm certainly evolving. I hardly recognize myself in the mirror when I look into it at 6:05 every morning and say, "Hello inner voice! The day is mine!" Yeah, right out loud. And I don't care who hears. And at that quiet time of the morning if anyone's listening, they will hear. But I don't care how crazy it might seem to be talking to myself out loud in the mirror, because dammit if this motivational stuff isn't working. It's starting to take. Stuff is happening!

Mood: driven
Drinking: water, coffee, luke warm and black
Listening To: nothing yet, but I'm about to put on a little Tragically Hip
Hair: damp from this morning's shower still

Me! Me! Me!

Finally! A ME Day! A day where I set aside all the obligations and commitments to others and just look after me and all the personal stuff that will make me happy. Like finally getting caught up on the dishes, the laundry, sweeping the floors, vacuuming, scrubbing, getting organized, washing the windows, THE BATHROOM! etc. and so on. Lets just say a lot of crap has been going to the wayside in these hectic April times. A lot! lol. T keeps urging me to make a list describing the man I would like to share my life with, and then I'll know him when I see him. Definitely, I'm thinking, I need a man to take care of the domestic stuff for me. Or to force me to take the blinders off and slow down once and awhile to look after my household. I need a man with a dishwasher! And a washer & dryer! :-D If I had these tools in my apartment, I would be laughing. Then I would only need a chef. Someone to cook for me and make sure I get my meals and vitamins. I don't think I've ever had a man who took care of me, certainly never financially, but not otherwise either to my recollection. Maybe it is time to make the list.

Surprise visitors this morning. I'm still shocked every time my doorbell rings. I know people! And they visit! Wow! What a concept. I think I was a little rude though. Sorry guys. I was just shocked, lol. And all my dishes were dirty, so I couldn't even offer coffee or anything :-( Actually I thought all my dishes were dirty, but then noticed a whole row of mugs after you left. THEN I felt guilty that I didn't offer coffee, because I could have. Instead all I offered was the view. Oh well. Here's to pleasant diversions! I hope you didn't mind the mess. It's much better now! I do like having people come visit though. It's wonderful to have this sense of family and community again. I hadn't known how alone I've been for the past several years. And even the solitary writer needs human contact apparently. Still it takes getting used to, this being able to go places and see people I know and be social all the time. It's good mojo for me.

And now, back to ME!

Mood: up
Drinking: nothing, just ate a tuna pita tho
Listening To: gulls
Hair: headbanded for optimum cleaning eyesight