Like A Virgin

I'm back! And what a fantastic weekend I had in Fredericton! The bus ride over was pretty good Thursday afternoon. The driver was a non-smoker, no-nonsense, all business type of dude so he drove a pretty good clip and didn't prolong the few stops along the way. We ended up getting into Freddy about 10 minutes early, but of course traffic was a nightmare going over the bridge so we arrived a few minutes late.

I cabbed up the hill to the Amsterdam Inn where all the writers were supposed to be staying, checked in and raced up to my room to get ready for the opening ceremony. I didn't have much time. I was excited to wear my new black strappy sandals that I've had since Spring but have never had the opportunity to wear. 3 1/2 inch heels! They're nice shoes, the kind where the strap double wraps around your ankle. I put them on and wobbled around my room a little debating whether I should wear them or go with the more sensibly heeled silver grey sandals with the 3/4 inch heels. Thinking the event would be mostly a sit-down show I went tall. Oops! Oh well, I'll know better for next year.

About 6:45 I called a taxi to take me to Old Government House. In the lobby I met up with Shirley Bear, a poet I was looking forward to hearing read later in the weekend, and her sister. Since we were all headed the same place we shared the cab. The building was beautiful of course! Ancient stone covered with Ivy and clinging vines, some stained glass windows, cathedral ceilings, antique furnishings, lavish rugs, lots of portraits, paintings, statues, big vases, huge chandeliers, real china and silverware, velvet cushions, framed photos of visiting dignitaries like Prince Charles -- everything that one would expect to find in the home of the Lieutenant Governor and more. There was plenty of wine, red and white, fruit punch, vegetable trays with dips, fresh fruit, cheese, crackers, and cream cheese, smoked salmon, and other tiny sandwich rolls. It was not exactly the sort of feast a starving woman required, but it did in a pinch.

Joe Ward from Eel Ground got the ceremony underway with his drumming. I was feeling too faint to stand in the circle and hold hands so I went out into the hall and sat down while they did that part. A group called The Raging Grannies performed. They were wonderfully funny and entertaining, dressed up in flouncy hats and shawls, keeping time with a wooden spoon and kazoo. They are political activists and write what I can only think to call protest songs. I had never seen or heard tell of them before but apparently they've been making quite a name for themselves with appearances on shows like Breakfast Television. They were there to tribute M. Travis Lane. Every year the festival honours a poet and this year it was her turn. I think Travis is a Raging Grannie. They shared a story about visiting a dying friend in hospital and singing them off. I liked that. Travis was celebrating her 70th birthday and what a happy energectic woman she seemed. She obviously comes from good blood because her 90-year-old mother was quite happy to have the house to herself for evening while Travis attended. She and the Grannies believe life should be celebrated until the very end with singing and poetry. There will be time enough for grieving after the dead have departed. I would be lying if I said I wasn't fascinated by this woman, who seemed to effortlessly bring every conversation round to her pets. Jeannette Lynes and Liliane Welch also gave lovely tribute speeches to Travis and shared some of her poetry.

A personal highlight of the evening for me was meeting up again with Ed and Elaine Lemond from the Attic Owl bookstore in Moncton. They are lovely people, so down to earth and friendly. Elaine kept getting me confused with Kelly Cooper who was going to read later in the weekend and wishing me luck -- very supportive :-) Just running into them makes me excited to move to Sackville where I'll be closer to these people and get to spend more time with them. Fredericton is a nice city . . . but I find it a little cold. Many Miramichiers live there but they seem to be the ones who think themselves a little bit too good to live on the river, not the proud Miramichiers. It's like they haven't grown past that stage so many of us go through right after high school where we want to be from anywhere but here. Funny, how most of those people go to Fredericton and never come back. But the people who go elsewhere come to realise what they've left behind and either move back or long to with every visit. Everyone in Fredericton seems a little too full of themselves. I don't know, it's kind of an odd thought I suppose and like anything else there are exceptions. I also know some very down to earth great former Miramichiers living in Fredericton. But Moncton does not have that feeling at all. People will talk to you in Moncton and not down their noses until they judge whether you're worthy. There's a different feeling about Moncton.

Anyway, after the tributes and more mingling, we headed back to the hotel and convened to have a glass of wine. Dorinda, Noeline, Elizabeth, Judy and I sat around talking for a little while. I learned that the Miramichi Writers' Guild is thinking about publishing another little chapbook. While I'm sitting there thinking what I would want to contribute if anything, they sprung it upon me that they wanted me to do the editing, layout, design, etc. I was surprised but thought it would be cool. They would even pay me a little, even cooler! About midnight everyone went to their own rooms. I went to the lobby and grabbed snacks from the vending machine and a movie. It was the sequel to The Talented Mr. Ripley with John Malkovich as Tom Ripley. It might have been good, but I was too looped to stay awake.

And that was the first event. I'll write more later and tell you the rest of the story. It gets better, I promise ;-)

Mood: Pleasantly exhausted
Drinking: tea
Listening To: Keep the Faith, Bon Jovi (This Left Feels Right)
Hair: newly dyed!

On the road again, just can't wait to get on the road again . . .

Off to Fredericton again tomorrow and I'm really excited about it. Tomorrow night is the opening ceremony for the Alden Nowlan Literary Festival -- EVERYBODY is going to be there. I get to get dressed up. There's going to be lots of great food and wine and talented artists reading great poetry. It's my first one and I'm stoked. There's not much going on Friday until the evening so I think I'm going to go do a little shopping at the Regent Mall which is pretty close to my hotel. I need new running shoes for one thing and also could use some black printer ink. Ink is a hard thing to get in Miramichi, it's pretty scarce. But now that I'm doing the WFNB newsletter I need ink to print it out and send for photocopies.

All day I've been jotting little notes to myself, so I don't forget anything. Last week I forgot my anti-perspirant and had to get the front desk to bring me one. So, I've got all these little sticky notes around now and hopefully I'll remember everything tomorrow.

I took a few minutes today and added my reading list to the blog. It's over there to the side below my profile and stuff. If you don't have a very big screen you'll probably have to scroll to see it. At any given time I'm reading no less than two books, usually a mix of novels, short story collections, poetry, drama, memoir and biography. I don't usually get into two novels at the same time, although right now I'm finishing one off while I've already started the next. I read everyday, even if it's only for 10 or 15 minutes. It's the last thing I do before I go to sleep. I have trouble getting to sleep usually, so reading really helps. Anyway, I thought you might like to keep up with my reading habits and also that it would be cool to keep track of all the books. I'll try to write little opinions about them to keep it interesting for you :-)

Anyway, I'm off with a ton of stuff to do still before I can go to bed. I will blog in my notebook while I'm away and post it here when I return. Later!

Mood: Buoyant
Drinking: Tea
Listening To: the hum of my computer
Hair: CLEAN!! Finally.

What drink are you?

Congratulations! You're a screaming orgasm!!


What Drink Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Bugs, Bugs, Bugs

I'm going freaking nuts!! I have to get out of this house and escape to my nice hotel room in Freddy Beach! The house is infested with bugs. And not the cute little bugs you saw in A Bug's Life, NOOOO, I'm talking big mother fucking spiders! HUGE!!! And they're everywhere. My skin is crawling just thinking about it.

The horror started about a week ago when we got our firewood in the basement. First it was just ants. Now, ants are kind of creepy but really they don't bother me that much . . . I wouldn't have a stroke if one got on me or anything. But now it is the spiders! And I just can't deal with that crap. . . well maybe if they were puny little things, but these are long legged beasts, quick as a bunny and scary as old hell.

I go to put something in the garbage can and one runs out from underneath it. Dad is sitting in the kitchen (blind as a bat I might add) and sees one running across the floor in the living room! I'm sitting on the lazy boy chair watching tv and one runs across the wall right by my arm. They're in the landing, the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom, the hall . . . they're EVERYWHERE! Why God? WHY?!

So, we're killing them off one by one and hoping to get the house back sometime before the snow flies. I k know I'm not supposed to kill anything with eyes, but a person can't be expected to live in a nest of spiders, one or two is fine, but not the whole extended family. I shudder to think about how many of these buggers are being murdered in the basement every night when Dad is playing darts.

Maybe it's this invasion that has me so freaked out I scared myself last night when I was trying to fall asleep and had to turn on the light. I was lying in bed, trying to drift off into happy dreamland, when all of a sudden I started thinking about this movie I had seen. I don't know what it's called, but maybe you've seen it. It's a horror film based on a true story about a woman in the U.S. who keeps getting attacked and raped/ beat around by a demon spirit.

I saw it a long time ago, and have no idea what made me think about it. So, I'm lying there in the dark trying not to think about this movie that is supposedly based on true events because what if I somehow summon the thing here if I think about it too much. So, I'm trying to think about other more pleasant things and then I see the girl from The Ring climbing out of the well . . . Did you see The Ring? Man! Now, that's a scary movie! That's when I had to turn on the light and read a little bit longer to clear my head of terrible thoughts.

Good Lord! Why am I telling you all this and thinking about that crap again tonight?! I need to go play a video game or read a funny story or something before I turn out the light.

Mood: Creeped Out!
Drinking: Diet Pepsi
Listening To: Nothing :-( I don't have enough RAM to blog, listen to music, get email and download tunes
Hair: . . . Ummm, I'd rather not say

Freddy Play by Play

My overnight excursion to Fredericton was fabulous and now I'm really looking forward to going back this week. The bus got in on time but Mary was not waiting to pick me up. I found out later that she went to pick me up on Wednesday, but even if I had arrived on Wednesday she would have missed me because she went an hour too late, lol. So, I grabbed a cab and headed off to the hotel on my own. Since it was rush hour traffic was hell and it took about 25 minutes to get up over the hill. I was freaked out, thought for sure the cab would cost 20 bucks. But I soon discovered that cabs are super cheap in Fredericton. It only cost $5 for that ride.

The lobby of the hotel was really nice with a fireplace and sofas and an area with tables set up so you could sit and have coffee (24 hr complimentary coffee service -- two thumbs up for that!) or enjoy the continental breakfast in the morning.

I forgot to bring Mom's credit card I used to reserve the room so I had to leave a $100 security deposit at the front desk just in case I trashed the room or took off with the TV or something. That left me a little concerned about whether I had brought enough cash or not. They put me in a room on the ground floor with an exit to the outside (motel style) as well as an inside entrance/exit.

I wasn't really comfortable there . . . you know, girl traveling alone, ground floor . . . I don't know, I didn't like it much. So, when my door wouldn't catch to close I seized the opportunity to get a different room upstairs and requested an upstairs room for this week also.

By the time I got settled there wasn't any time left to eat or anything so I just changed my clothes, freshened up and grabbed a cab to the university. My driver had no idea where the building I wanted was located so that was a bit of a challenge and took a little longer than I expected but still I arrived in one piece (only $4!).

I found Mary freaking out in the auditorium. Apparently, anything that could go wrong, had gone wrong. But things were basically under control by the time I arrived. I got to sit in the front row reserved seating and all I had to do was run around like mad and find a table, carry it downstairs, and endure the snotty ladies from the CBC who were quite put-out that we hadn't arranged water for them. HELLO! You're journalists (debatable), not celebrities! If I did voice work all the time I think I'd have water with me. Anyway, they rubbed me the wrong way with all their juvenile eye rolling and snickering.

Ann-Marie's people sent the standard famous person list of demands which Mary was going a bit nuts trying to fulfill. But Ann-Marie herself was very personable and not at all diva-esque.

Beth Powning read first from her novel The Hatbox Letters. I was blown away by the beauty of the sound of the book. WOW! The story really hadn't interested me much when I read the synopsis, but after hearing Beth's reading I knew I had to buy this book.

Ann-Marie went second. Of course, I had already read The Way the Crow Flies and had all the books in a bag under my seat to get signed after. Ann-Marie started as an actress and this was obvious from her reading. DOUBLE WOW!! This was the best reading I've ever been to, not that I've been to many, but still. It was as if she were acting out all the characters. She had all the voices down, from the little girl to the father, the psychiatrist to Bugs Bunny. I was particularly impressed with her use of silence. At one point she stared off into the distance as if the character were pondering and she held that silence for a good 20-25 seconds. That's tough to do. It's tough to take your time when you're reading or doing any sort of public speaking and just let the silence speak for itself.

After the readings the floor opened for questions. This was an insightful part of the evening for me. The audience was mostly university students from the drama or English departments, so they had lots of great questions. The girl from the CBC did not! You could totally tell that she hadn't read any of their books or maybe ANY book in a really long time. She asked them where they got their inspiration for Christ's sake. That's like asking the parents of the murdered child how they feel or leading with "It's every parents worst nightmare." How does the woman keep her job? To top things off she sat in the chair designated for Beth Powning and spoke at length with her own response to one of the questions the students asked the authors. What's up with that?

But enough hating on the CBC chick and her publicist or agent or whoever that was with her.

One thing I found particularly interesting was the authors discussion of writers block. Ann-Marie said she saw it more as a void than a block, which I totally agreed with. The standard response about writers block is usually to get away from it, take a break, go back at it later. But she wanted to stress something else as well -- first, you must suffer. That really struck me. She stressed that you had to suffer through the agony of the void in order to get through it and not to be so quick to take a break. Only after you've suffered and still you have the void, then you should take a break and get some distance. I thought that was pretty interesting. I think I'm often too quick to give up.

Another thing that came out of the Q & A was a comment from one of the students. The reading Ann-Marie gave was identical to one she gave there earlier this year or last fall and this student had attended that reading as well. She said she hadn't read the book before the first reading and found herself laughing as many in the audience had laughed at this reading. But since the first reading she read the book and this time she found the reading more somber and sad now that she knew the context. I had the opposite happen to me. I read the book before the reading . . . but I missed a lot of the humour in my reading, I was overwhelmed by the sadness and seriousness of the story. But I laughed when she read and I knew the context. I thought that was an interesting contrast, that I found the humour in her oral reading and the university student found the sorrow.

After the reading I bought Beth's book and got all my books signed. I told Ann-Marie that I worked a Sunday matinee at the Annex theatre back in 1988 and had been a fan of her work ever since. She was thrilled and flattered and very gracious. She's much smaller in real life than what I expected. On Life & Times she looks taller, more substantial. She's really a wisp of a woman.

After the readings Mary drove me back to the hotel. She thanked me for coming and helping her out and for all the press releases I've written. She said she's been getting lots of compliments about the press releases since I started writing them, which was nice to hear. It was about 10:30 when I went into the lobby. I got a cup of coffee to take up to my room and signed out a dvd to watch in case I couldn't find anything on television -- Calendar Girls (not as good as I had hoped).

I got back in my room just in time to catch the tail end of Canadian Idol and ordered pizza from Pizza Delight which came around 11 . . . pretty late to be eating supper, but I was starved! I tossed and turned all night and then got up at 8 and went down for breakfast.

The breakfast actually really impressed me. There was a lot more variety than what I thought there would be -- various kinds of muffins, bagels and pastries, homemade bread for toast, English muffins, four different kinds of cold cereal, one hot cereal, coffee, various kinds of tea, orange juice, apple juice, milk -- there was lots to pick from and a good crowd chowing down. I had a bagel with cream cheese and coffee and then went back up to my room to shower and get ready to go home.

I checked out an hour before the bus was scheduled to leave. I thought that would be plenty of time because it was mid-morning so the cab ride shouldn't have taken that long. My driver decided to take the scenic route or something and the cab ride went on forever!! But I wasn't worried because I had given myself lots of time . . . or so I thought. I was horrified to finally reach the station and realise that every kid in the university was lined up for bus tickets home for the weekend. The line-up was all the way out on the sidewalk!! I don't know why I didn't buy a return ticket to begin with . . . I just got in line and hoped for the best, started strategizing what I would do if i missed the bus, did I have enough cash to get a room and try again on Saturday and so on. Luckily, the line up moved pretty quickly and I got out of there in lots of time to catch my bus.

The ride home was uneventful and I got picked up by Jen and the kids without a hitch. Sherry couldn't pick me up because Paulina was sick . . . wouldn't you know it, now I'm feeling sick too. Sore throat, pain around my eyes, achy body, BLECH! Just in time for my big trip to Freddy this week, when everyone will be there, when all the events are happening. Hopefully I'll recover in time.

So, I had a great time and the reading was everything I expected and more.

Mood: sluggish
Drinking: Cabernet Sauvignon (California)
Listening To: Virgin Radio Classic Rock live from the UK (Paul McCartney & Wings)
Hair: Dirty, with a capital D

From the Road . . .

As I stare out the bus window, it occurs to me how simply I could just disappear. What if I got on another bus in Fredericton headed to Montreal or Maine? Nobody would notice me missing until tomorrow. What would they think when I didn't get off the bus? Would they immediately start to worry? Or would they laugh and think I had missed the bus home? Or would they get angry at my stupidity? When would they start looking for me? How easy would I be to find?

Bus tickets are uniform items, no names, no identification. The girls at the Irving in Blackville would surely remember me purchasing a ticket if for no other reason than there were only two of us. But in Fredericton they must see lots of faces, many people passing through, I'm sure I would blend in.

I'm a pretty inconspicuous wallflower these days. I've fallen off the radar screen. I remember being younger and strangers speaking to me in the street, following me, chasing me even -- there was something about me I guess. I was very approachable and non-threatening. I drew the crazies. Not so much anymore. In a way I miss all the attention . . . but mostly I'm happy not to have to deal with all those people anymore. People don't notice me much now. I'm older of course and heavier, but I'm also more . . . I don't know, cynical? I've become my mother. I'm too old and thick through the middle to be of interest to men or women as either a possible conquest or a potential threat. I've become a kind of sexless blob. (Ironic this should come as I close in on my sexual peak ;-) But I don't mind. I can get on another bus, board a train, catch a flight to destination unknown, slip away in the night unnoticed and unmissed.

This is what I think about on the bus ride to Fredericton. Outside my window I see --

. . . a field with one, two, three, four deer, possibly more. But I've gone past.

. . . a lifesized carving of a moose wears a hunters orange vest so he won't get shot at during the hunting season.

. . . a flock of at least a dozen ducks float by a pillar on an old stone train bridge.

. . . every house in this small town has a wreath of dried flowers hanging in the window of the front door.

. . . a small rack of antlers left outside on an old washing machine. Exposed to the elements, enduring all types of weather, the antlers have aged to a dirty grey. Why keep them at all if they're not a valued prize to be mounted in the living room? I wonder if the family at least ate the meat or if the deer died for no good reason at all.

We stop at a gas station but this is no Mainway. This place is like J.D.'s bastard son -- flaking paint, walls browning with dirt, grimy windows -- the station is like an aging relative, abandoned in this decrepit town, left to rot.

I've forgotten how high up you are in an SMT bus. I can see things from here that I can't from car level. A road winds through a forest gully and into a tiny bridge. Hills roll off into the distance. This province is nothing but woods.

Suddenly I noticed I'm sitting at the Emergency Exit -- Pull up bar. Push out window. I repeat this silent mantra and worry. Can I do it? I don't want this responsibility and glance around nervously to see the faces of those I must save.

I wonder about the houses outside the window. Beautiful new homes on perfectly landscaped lots with lovely gardens and trees. These people care about their homes. This is obvious. Yet, right in the middle of them an old abandoned house falls into the ground surrounded by weeds. Why? Who owns this monstrosity? And why have they not torn it down?

Mood: Contemplative
Drinking: Water
Listening To: The sigh of air conditioning, the drone of road sounds and the tinny beat of faraway music playing on another passenger's stereo headphones
Hair: Fly-Away

And I'm Off!

Well, today's the day. Gotta pack! I'm leaving for Fredericton at 3 this afternoon, get there a little before 5pm. Mary might be there to pick me up. Busy evening planned and I'll be back here by early tomorrow afternoon. Such a flying trip! I'll probably end up buying Beth Powning's book. She's reading with Ann-Marie MacDonald. I think I've got everything Ann-Marie might be selling, so I'll just get them signed (NOTE TO SELF - Remember to pack your books to get signed)Beth Powning is an artist as well as writer. She takes some pretty amazing photographs. I saw some of her work at a gallery in Sackville earlier this summer. I think she lives in Shediac. Anyway, her novel called The Hat Boxes sounds pretty interesting and once I've heard her read from it I'm sure I'll have a hard time NOT buying the book.

I watched Canadian Idol last night even though I'm still devastated by the loss of my boy Jacob. I even voted a few times (maybe 20) for Theresa. There's no way in hell that Kalan won't win this thing, he doesn't need my vote to secure that position. I've always really liked Theresa anyway and I think it would be cool if we had an Idol that was a little more smoky around the edges. I'm probably going to miss the results show but Mom's going to tape it I think.

I also watched a little bit of a new CTV show that came on after. I think it's called Rising Star or something like that, basically about a 15 year old girl dealing with the instant fame of winning one of those talent contests like Idol. It wasn't bad, I suppose. But geared toward a much younger audience. Maybe it'll be the next Degrassi.

I see there's some new stories up on the Bread 'n Molasses website. And now I'm off to have pancakes. I'm on this pancake kick again (NEVER a good thing, loads of carbs in those suckers!) I've been experimenting with making them from scratch without a mix. Yesterday I made some using whole wheat flour with a touch of cinnamon and they were really good . . . so yeah, I'm going back for more. I mightn't get to eat much today with being in transit and having so much stuff to do. There probably won't be any refreshments at the reading . . . I'm not sure if there's a restaurant in my hotel. It could be breakfast tomorrow before I see any more food. So, I'm going to enjoy my pancake creations for the time being and hope they keep me from starving later.

Mood: Upbeat
Drinking: Tea
Listening To: Sk8er Boie, Avril Lavigne
Hair: Can't believe I never had time to dye it!!

Sign of the Times

Outside this morning with Nick I noticed some huge toadstools. And I mean HUGE!! Like I expected Papa Smurf to run out from the garden and shake a big stick at me.

I can't ever remember seeing this many mushrooms and things growing around the dooryard. It's just the last couple of years that I've started noticing this, but this year has been by far the worse. They're popping up everywhere! All over the lawns, in the bushes, the ditches, even on the gravel of the driveway where you wouldn't expect anything to sprout.

I think this is a sign of the times, the effect of all our soggy weather. I mean how many really hot and sunny nice days have we had this year? I think I remember two . . . maybe three. The effects of this destroying the environment thing should soon be obvious to everyone shouldn't it? All the knuckleheads running the countries around the world can't ignore all the changing weather patterns much longer can they? Alberta had snow this past week . . . SNOW! Think about it.


Mood: Puzzled
Drinking: bottom of the barrel boiled to death orange pekoe tea with milk
Listening To: the steady hum of machinery outside my window
Hair: Hopeless!!

Umm, is that a piece of cheese?

http://www4.islanddefjam.com/media/bonjovi/jbjae.jpg

What Classic Pin-Up Are You?

You're Brigitte Bardot!


What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

A World of Dreams

Overslept. The alarm did not go off and I can't figure out why . . . everything seems right with the clock. Oh well, so I got an extra 3 hours of sleep, yay! I must've needed it.

In case I've never mentioned it, I have a very active dream life -- if I'm asleep, I'm dreaming. I dream in colour (shocked to learn most people don't, actually) and my dreams are like movies or plays. I'm in them of course, but I'm also off to the side watching them happen, maybe even making changes to the way things unfold, rewriting the script sometimes, definitely directing the production.

97% of the time I know I'm dreaming and the other 3% I have the most horrifying nightmares anyone could ever have. The percentage of nightmares used to be much higher but I'm finding the older I get, the less nightmares I have. This is good, because I have had some pretty terrifying nightmares in my day.

I also have a bunch of dreams that I dream over and over again — recurring dreams. There are probably about a dozen of them and I'll dream them once every six months or so. Sometimes I just let them unfold like they always have before. Sometimes I tweak them to see what happens. They usually aren't scary, but as dreams go, I seem to have a lot of fun with the stable of recurring ones; they're dependable, like old friends. You might think all this is kind of weird, but I'm just pretty in touch with the world of my dreams. It's a big part of what makes me, me.

Anyway, about five years ago a kind of odd thing started happening with my dreams. About once a week at least one celebrity shows up in my dreams. I call it my "celebrity guest stars." Obviously, my subconscious didn't think I was an interesting enough character to carry off these dreams all on my own so we had to go Hollywood. Sometimes, it's pretty low budget stuff and David Soul pops in for a cameo. Other times it's a bigger deal like when the entire Bon Jovi band shows up, and bring Heather Locklear.

I don’t seem to have much control over who pops in, but it's always a nice surprise. One night last week I was roaring around the streets of Rome on the back of a motorcycle driven by Kiefer Sutherland (I suspect too many Ford commercials might be the culprit there). Anyway, last night's dream had a really interesting celebrity guest star duo — Jen & Ben! Yeah, Bennifer showed up in my dream, which is rather odd because not only are they no longer a couple but I'm not a fan of either, I'd trade them both in for a single Matt Damon appearance any day. But hey, I get what I get I guess, Matt is obviously too busy to drop by.

In the dream, Stacy and I were on a road trip vacation and we stopped in this little town (which looked A LOT like the Rapids). We got invited to this big Thanksgiving dinner or something with a family of Heatherington's (yeah, you're right, I know that family). Anyway, we're at this dinner (where there was not so much turkey by the way but a tonne of candy!) and enter Ben looking frazzled because he has just seen Jen and her new hubby checking into a cottage down the road. Of course, I console him, offer advice, etc. Yeah, he's not my favourite, but come on — he's Ben Affleck! Anyway, he's having none of my shenanigans (that's the kind of word Ben throws around — shenanigans ;-) and he goes out to spy on her.

Cut to the good part of the movie/ dream. Turns out Jen also saw Ben out of the corner of her eye and sneaked to find him. They reunite in the bushes surrounding the cottage, declare their undying love for one another and he brings her back to this big dinner where we've finished eating all the candy and have moved onto the entertainment portion of the evening — KARAOKE!! Oddly, she does not sing, he does, but still it's kind of sweet, in his "I'm doing Regis Philbin" kind of way. You can totally tell though that she's just out for a night of closure, she will not be leaving the hubby anytime soon, which makes me feel a little sad for Ben because he really seems to want her back. The dream ended with him singing (badly, I might add) "You're So Vain."

Do you think I'm celebrity obsessed?

My dreams are really weird sometimes . . . maybe I shouldn't write them down. Could this be the material my family uses one day to have me committed? Something to keep in mind.

Mood: sunny
Drinking: tea & water simultaneously
Listening To: Ah, la paterno mano -- Andrea Bocelli
Hair: tucked behind my right ear

Granted a Reprieve

I gave in and laid down late this afternoon; I wasn't getting any work done anyway. Slept until 9:30 pm. Normally, I'm not much for napping in the evening, screws up my system, makes it impossible to sleep later, but today this was just what I needed. Feeling a lot better now that my bones got some rest. I also slept with my neck brace on which helps a lot sometimes to take the kinks out. Ready to dance now, baby! Too bad my radio stream keeps cutting in and out, but coming in pretty good for dial up I guess.

So, I got an email this evening from Mary at the WFNB that I'm kind of jazzed about. She wanted to know if I could come a bit earlier for the Ann-Marie MacDonald reading in case she needs help setting anything up and so on. Of course, I jumped on that. Anything that puts me in tighter with the writer crew is way cool in my book. When my novel is done, success or failure could come down to who I know not how good or bad the thing is written . . . because I mean we pretty much know it's going to pure genius, right? ;-)

Hey! Stop laughing.

In the mail today I finally got the first issue of NB Ink that I did. The copy job was not the best, I gotta say. Super dark on some pages, light on others. I'll have to take a few minutes before I do the December one and see what I can do to make it turn out better when it's reproduced, which percentage greyscale shows up best and so on. Judy (WFNB pres) emailed me and said she thought it was great, so I guess that's something. It was actually a lot of fun to do and extra cash is always good.

In other news I've exchanged a couple of emails with a new guy these past couple of days . . . if I were a sk8er girl I'd say he's "hawt", lol. Yeah, he's a cutie from his pics anyway. 24 years old. (I don't know what is up with me and the 24 year old guys! Is it because I'm entering into my sexual peak years and guys that age are right there with me?)Dark features and hair, which is good because quite frankly I have to get over that whole blonde thing. He's an English major (Can we say WRITER?!!) at Mount A. (HELLO SACKVILLE!!) He sent me a smile on one of those dating sites and we've exchanged a couple of messages. It's kind of cool, he's taking the classes I want to take so I've been picking his brains. Definitely a sign, confirmation that Sackville is the place, if nothing else. Don't you think? Apparently if I want to get into this particular creative writing course I've got my eye on, I have to submit a portfolio in the spring for the fall term. Good to know.

Anyway, time to get some work done since I slept the evening away. I've got a lot on the go with this Alden Nowlan Lit festival, website changes and the like.

Mood: Soaring
Drinking: Diet Pepsi
Listening To: Virgin Classic Rock Radio - Live from the UK (Walk this way, Aerosmith)
Hair: surprisingly soft and fluffy for being so dirty

Seasons Change

Not having a very good day. The seasons are changing, it's no longer summer and fall hasn't quite settled in either. This means I'm in agony with arthritis -- I am every time the seasons change. Such is the life of an old arthritic broad I guess ;-) I didn't sleep a wink last night. I went to bed and closed my eyes and rolled round and round all night trying to get comfortable until finally I just said to hell with it and got up at 5:30 am. There's just no comfort when I'm in this state. I knew it was coming but hoped it would hold off until after my Fredericton trip. There's no preventing it, all the supplements, exercise, etc. only help ease the pain somewhat, but they don't get rid of it completely. Seasons change and I go into a flare. That's just the way it is. Today, I've had my neck brace on all day, keeping myself wrapped up in sweaters and blankets to help keep dampness out of the joints. My fingers and wrists are particularly bad so I've been rubbing on the deep cold which of course always gets into my eyes and makes my eyes water. Great for my sinuses though, clearing them right out breathing in all this menthol. But I must look like a big blubbering mess. It's really exhausting after only 24 hours, hopefully it'll let up a little and let me sleep some tonight. I've got so much work to do and I don't want to be a zombie come Thursday when I finally get to meet Ann-Marie MacDonald. It's days like this that I really have to focus on the good days I've had this summer, remember them.

Mood: Achy breaky
Drinking: nothing. Got a dry mouth too.
Listening To: Teenage Wasteland, The Who
Hair: In my eyes

OMG!! What have I done?!

So, I finally bit the bullet and sent the link for my personal blog to some friends. Now of course I'm a little neurotic wondering exactly what I've written all these months and if any of it is going to come back to haunt me if my friends read it. . . I'm resisting the urge to delete all the posts except the most recent before anyone gets here. . . resisting . . . still resisting . . . THIS IS HARD!

Okay. I'm good. For now.

Welcome to my blog!

Mood: Freaked out
Drinking: Bordeaux
Listening To: Pride, U2
Hair: getting grey

Freddy Time

So, this week I'm heading out for a brief overnighter to Fredericton. It's the Alden Nowlan Literary Festival and Ann-Marie MacDonald is giving a reading on Thursday night. I'm a big fan of her work. I worked a matinee performance of Goodnight Desdemona, Good Morning Juliet at Nightwood Theatre back in the 80's. I sold t-shirts in the lobby at intermission and instead of being paid in cash I got a free t-shirt and to see the play. This was before it won all the awards and stuff. That's when I first started liking Ann-Marie MacDonald. I've followed her writing and acting career ever since. So, on Thursday afternoon I'm catching the bus to Freddyville, checking into a hotel for the night, grabbing some supper and going to a reading/signing at the university. Hopefully, I'll get to meet her and get my books signed and have a good time. I'm staying overnight, checking out early, getting back on the bus and I'll be home by early afternoon. It's a flying trip. But it'll be worth it I think. Next week I'm going for a longer excursion and participating in more of the Festival events. My friend, Elizabeth, is giving a reading and I'm taking a workshop. Stacy might take a mini-break and come with me to some of the events and visit with people in Fredericton. That'll be fun.

Mood: Full *burp*
Drinking: Cold Coffee with cream
Listening To: Virgin Radio UK (Special on The Clash)
Hair: loose & Golden Blonde

Date Night

Last night was Date Night! And no, that doesn't mean what you probably think it means. Date Night happens when my best friend and I get together and do something. Actually, it doesn't even have to be at night, sometimes we start in the morning and go the whole day. But yesterday was not one of those days. (Exhausting! Can't do those things too often.)

I met up with Stacy at her work around 4 pm. While she finished up I surfed the web on the high-speed connection getting the latest scoop on Jacob Hoggard from message boards. Anyone else devastated by his departure from Canadian Idol? Man!! I thought for sure it would be down to a showdown between him and Kalan. I thought Kalan would probably win in the end but that the voting would be pretty intense and close. I'll be keeping my eyes out for Jacob and his band Hedley. I think they'll go far. I downloaded a bunch of clips from the show and made a Jacob CD for Stacy that I gave her yesterday.

Anyway, we left around 5:30 and headed to Newcastle to pick up some oil for Stacy's boyfriend. I was expecting a couple of cases of litre containers, but of course it ended up being big ass drums. Stacy nearly threw out her back lifting them into the trunk. I probably should have helped, huh? ;-) Yeah, well anyway, then we went to one of our favourite shopping places --- The Liquor Store! Going to the liquor store for me and Stacy is almost as good as an office supplies or book store, we can go in and stay forever, looking at everything, deciding what to try. I'm on a big red wine kick lately. So, I'm always trying different blends from different countries. Stacy's on a margarita and fruity drink kick so she's always looking for new mixers and coolers to try. Last night we were in a hurry though, so I just grabbed a bottle of Bordeaux I knew I liked and she got some coolers and we were out of there without browsing too much.

Off to Jungle Jim's for supper. We're both on this Tex-Mex kick since we went to Moncton in the spring and had the best Tex-Mex food at Lone Star. So, we ordered the nachos with beef and margaritas. Very good! Jungle Jim's is the place to go on the river for tex-mex and margaritas. And we should know, because we've been EVERYWHERE in search of the best margarita. Saddlers has the best one, by the way, but no nachos on the menu. A bit too many jalepenos for my liking at Jungle Jim's, but hey that's easily fixed the next time I order.

After supper we went shopping in the mall, looking for a watch for Stacy. She's allergic to metals so she needs a watch made entirely of plastic or wrapped in fabric or something so no metal touches her skin. Needless to say this is challenging and she hasn't had a watch in awhile. We couldn't find any last night.

A Stacy/Kellie excursion would not be complete without buying something so we decided to head over to Rogers Video and see what dvds were on sale. JACKPOT! We hit the 2 for $15 sale! Yay! Stacy bought 4 newer releases while I caught up with some oldies but goodies. I got Four Weddings & A Funeral with Hugh Grant, Better Off Dead with John Cusack, Heathers (CLASSIC!!) with Winona Ryder and Christian Slater (the original trench coat boy!) and then I got an Italian film called Respiro that won a bunch of awards and looked interesting. I was pretty excited about finding Better Off Dead and Heathers. I'm a DVD junkie. I love the extra features! I rarely bought VHS tapes but with DVDs I buy them constantly. I think it's worse than books . . . and that's really saying something.

So after the shopping spree it was time to get to the point of our little outing and head to the movie theatre. We had some difficulty deciding between Wicker Park and Without a Paddle. Both had mixed reviews from reviewers and people we knew. But finally we went with Wicker Park because it started earlier and went into it with no expectations whatsoever. People said it was confusing, all the shifting from past to present. I don't know what that was all about, the shifts were really smooth and not at all confusing. I mean really they were quite linear and standard, nothing out of left field at all. Very weird that people would find it confusing. Pulp Fiction was 100 times more confusing because the order of the story wasn't chronological and I didn't find Pulp Fiction confusing at all. LOL Another comment people had made about the film was that it was stupid, one telephone call could have cleared up the whole mess. Watching it though, calls were made, other calls were attempted, it was quite logical why they never connected. Another comment I heard was that you didn't know what was going on until the end, edge of the seat sort of a good confusion. But I didn't find that either. There was no big reveal at the end. All in all, it was a pretty good movie, NOBODY does being in love like Josh Hartnett! I also heard he slept through the whole thing without any emotion, which I completely disagree with. I found his character to be very believable and expressive. And I'm not the biggest Josh Hartnett fan in the world or anything like that. If you were on the fence about going to see this, I say go for it. It was a good time.

I got home around 11:30, poured a glass of wine and popped in Heathers. I haven't seen it in awhile. Forgot how funny it was. Classic!

Mood: Lazy
Listening to: Jonny Lang, "Red Light"
Drinking: black coffee
Hair: strawberry blonde

What to do when your "Get Up & Go" gets up and goes

God! What a weekend! Every Labour Day weekend for the last, oh . . . I don't know, probably 13 years, my ex-boyfriend's kids have come to stay at my mom's house for the weekend. Yeah, I know that's kind of weird, but what can you do? My mom loves those kids. So, this year the oldest girl turned 13 and we had a big get together for the weekend as usual. Things got underway Saturday evening when we had a pot luck supper. I stayed up until 3 am Friday night cooking . . . and drinking some wine (a whopping four glasses actually!) I made a few different dishes, bbq pork and stir fried rice medley, taco hamburger medley with nachos, guacamole, spicy beef and mexican rice, honey garlic chicken, and Italian chicken in marinara with pasta. Yeah, I do love to cook! And I even did dishes for this special occasion. One of my sisters' made sweet 'n sour meatballs, potatoe scallop and hamburger rolls. The other made a potatoe, chicken, broccolli and cheese casserole. Top the dinner off with rolls, butter, a nice bottle of Bordeaux, chocolate birthday cake and ice cream . . . and it was quite the feast. I think there are still some leftovers in the fridge, though my brother can have them, I'm still stuffed!

My sisters brought their kids and husbands and we played some birthday type games with prizes and later had a campfire outside and made smores (which I never had before, yummy!) Sunday morning everyone returned to my mom's house for a birthday brunch complete with pancakes, sausage, bacon, ham, hash browns, etc. I didn't enjoy brunch very much I admit. By the time all the children were fed everything was overcooked and dried out. There weren't enough pancakes. Mom's heart didn't seem into it. Brunch had been her idea but then that morning she didn't want to cook anything, no eggs, no toast, no muffins, no scones, nothing really brunch-like, just a breakfast with a lot of different types of burnt pork. I don't know what was up with that. But anyway, it's over finally and all the children have gone home, gone off to school actually, and my mother has gone back to work and finally I'm alone in the house and have a little peace and quiet. It's nice. So nice I gave myself a facial and dared to shave my legs. But I have to admit, all the weekend eating is still weighing me down a bit. Blech! It's back to lean meats, whole grains and veggies tomorrow.


Mood: Played Right the F' Out!
Listening to: Chariot, Gavin DeGraw
Drinking: Hardy's Cabernet Merlot (Australia)
Hair: greasy