Back Again!

I think I know what the hell has been wrong with me . . . well, a contributing factor at any rate. September blues have always been just part of who I am but I also haven't been dreaming. Does this happen EVERY September? I wonder. Anyway, I hadn't even realised it until I started dreaming again the night before last. Without my active dream life I think I go a little crazy. And I've been a little crazy this past month or so. But thank god! The dreams are back. Last night (well really late this morning, I've been taking non-drowsy sinus meds, so I'm a little antsy . . . in that wonderful amphetamine way I love so much) I tossed and turned and awoke every half hour from the dream . . . and it was freaking wonderful! I feel so much better.

In my dream there was a big Coughlan family reunion thing coming up, maybe a Christmas party. Mom was trying to convince me to go, but I had other plans, didn't want to go anyway. And this back and forth with Mom went on and on, the way it might have in real life years ago when Mom used to try to convince me to go to these things. And I kept waking up, looking at the clock and going back to it. But then the scene switched from Mom's house to Grammie & Grandad's . . . their big, empty, quiet house . . . and I remembered that they are gone, that I'm not 26 anymore, that I said I wasn't going to let certain family members keep me from anymore gatherings . . . and I told her I'd go. Then I woke up and made coffee.

Mood: a little high
Drinking: coffee with cream
Listening To: Bon Jovi, I Want to be Loved
Hair: feels like it's standing on end