Dreams

I dreamed about my cousin Stacy last night. Not the one on Dad's side of the family. Not my notorious sidekick. The other one. The guy who lives in Calgary. My cousin on Mom's side of the family. It's a bit unusual to have two cousins named Stacy . . . it's even more unusual to have two named Stacy Underhill. Yes. My mother's sister married an Underhill, so I've got two first cousins named Stacy Underhill, same spelling, same everything. In another twist, both their middle names start with the letter D . . . Stacy Dora . . . Stacy Douglas . . . And they are the same age, were born the same year. Douglas is about a month and half older than me, Dora is a month and half younger than me. They can be a bit like peas in the pod when they get together. Names are an important piece of our identity and different ones bring out different characteristics, so they share a lot of the same character traits. Have had similar experiences. It's almost like they're siblings, twins even. Yes, it is kind of bizarre.

Anyway, Stacy Douglas was in my dream last night. He had come for a visit at my parents' house. He looked like he did the year we graduated high school, young and thin, before the gym and Alberta Beef calendar. I had the sense that something was wrong but he insisted there wasn't, kept saying he just popped by to hang out. He was just here last fall for the first time in something like 18 years, I couldn't understand what had brought him back so soon. We went out to eat at a restaurant I've never been to before, a restaurant that maybe doesn't exist. It was in a lodge or something, big dining room, lots of wood, very rustic. My niece, Anna, was running around the dining room playing, driving the waitresses crazy. Her parents weren't there, she was on her own. When she saw me she came over and I got her to sit with us and ordered her something to eat.

Stacy chitchatted about silly things like "how's the weather" and "any fish going" but he had this intense look in his eyes. I kept asking him what was wrong but he would just smile and say nothing. Most of the time he was quiet (and he's not a quiet boy) studying me it seemed. This really bothered me but I was busy with Anna, getting her fed. She had come to the restaurant with someone who was working in the kitchen. Mom? Bonnie? I don't know. But when we went to leave I asked one of the waitresses what I should do with Anna, should she go back in the kitchen. The waitress said the person in the kitchen had been sent to another restaurant, wouldn't be back today and the waitresses couldn't look after her because they would be too busy. "You'll have to take her," she said and handed me a diaper bag. I scooped Anna up, turned and Stacy was gone.

Then I woke up.

Mood: fuzzy about the edges
Drinking: tea
Listening To: Peaches & Iggy Pop, Kick It
Hair: loosely knotted